an idiot's guide to theater etiquette.

1. dress the part. if there's ever a good excuse to dress up fancy, its for a trip to the theater. your brand new super flattering dress? wear it. that fancy bridesmaid's dress you never thought you'd ever wear again? wear it. those ties your grandma keeps buying for you? now's your chance to actually wear one. but your soccer warm ups? um, no. your favorite flourescent yellow hoodie? leave it at home.

i'm the one in the flattering new dress taking this unflattering picture. mark is the one not wearing a tie because i'm slowly learning to pick my battles.

2. arrive early. keep in mind, once you get to the theater you'll want time to grab a drink, peruse the merchandise, and use the restroom before finding your seat, so plan to have enough time for that. always a good rule of thumb: if you're on time, you're late.

3. put your camera away. and your stinkin' smart phone too. photography is usually not permitted inside the theater. i know its super tempting because its super exciting and the opening curtain just looks! so! cool! but. the ushers will yell at you. and that is embarrasing. save yourself the embarrasment and take pictures everywhere except in the theater.

like in the lobby, when you're extra early and need to kill some time. ps he's smoking a giant imaginary pipe like a snobby theater-goer. obvsly.

4. find your seats in a timely fashion. if you are tracking with the rules so far, this should be no problem. the problems arise when you arrive late, because once the lights go down it is not only much more difficult to read the letters and numbers on the seats, but also much more likely that your stumbling around in the dark will annoy your fellow theater-goers.

a very abbreviated guide to theater seating:

- rows are labeled alphabetically in ascending order.   

- seats are numbered from left to right facing the stage.

- when in doubt, ask an usher for help.

and for the love of Oz, please enter your row from the correct end so as to minimize the number of people you have to make stand up as you shuffle past. this is not only a pain to those in your row, but also those in the rows behind you who paid to see a show, not the butts of the people in front of them.

THIS is what i came to see

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5. remain seated. yes, the whole time. see above re: shuffling in and out of rows. this is not only disrespectful to those seated around you, but also to the actors on stage. your drink refill is not that important, and it can wait. but if you think otherwise, and you have already arrived late and then left again in the middle of the act, dont be surprised if the ushers refuse to let you back into your row and make you stand. enough is enough.

6. come back after intermission. you guys! intermission wasn't the end! you missed the whole second half of the show! how sad for you...

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7. ENJOY!!! going to the theater is fun! seeing Wicked at the theater for your anniversary is extra-fun! dont be embarrased to lip-sync to all the songs, because chances are at least half of the audience is doing the same thing. i mean, they totally were, right? i wasnt the only one, right?!? eh, i dont even care if i was. it was AH-MAZING!

recent reading.

i first heard of Wicked when my high-school art club was planning a trip to NYC and we were voting on which Broadway shows we wanted to see while we were there. i had no idea what it was, but it got a lot of votes so i figured it had to be something good, and i was among the disappointed when we weren't able to secure tickets for our group. we wound up going to see Hairspray and The Producers instead, and i forgot all about the other shows on the original ballot.

i next encountered Wicked in my college marching band. one of our closing numbers my freshman year was a mash-up of two songs from the score: Dancing Through Life, and Defying Gravity. i liked the songs, but it was kind of difficult to fully appreciate them while also trying to play them and keep up with the drill too. lucky for me, my BFITW was kind enough to introduce me to the full soundtrack. and then i promptly fell in love with the parallel story of the Wizard of Oz.

and THEN, i found out that the musical was based on a BOOK, and of course had to read it. i put all three* books from the Wicked Years on my Christmas list, and i read through the first book before Christmas break was over. (i only got the first one that year, because apparently the fact that i asked for anything called Son of a Witch was just too shocking!) if it was possible, i fell even more in love with Wicked. i even went to see the musical in Pittsburgh with my BFITW, and it is the inspiration for our hopefully-sometime-in-the-nearish-future matching tattoos.

all that to say, i took a trip to the library before family vacation, and over the past few weeks i finally read the second and third books in the Wicked Years: Son of a Witch, and A Lion Among Men. and i highly recommend them to all of you. start at the beginning of course, with Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West, and go from there. i dare you to not get sucked into the story, and the characters, and the whole world of Oz. they're like fairy tales for adults!

speaking of fairy tales for adults, when we were on vacation, my sister loaned me another book by Gregory Maguire called Confessions of an Ugly Stepsister, which is a parallel Cinderella story. i read the whole thing while we were at the beach with the inlaws over the weekend. you should read it. it will give you a whole different perspective on the classic story. and i bet you'll love it.

i've read some really good stuff in the past month or so, but i'm not quite sure what i'm going to read next. have you read anything good lately?

* i hear from the very reliable source that is wikipedia that a fourth and possibly final book in the series is supposed to come out later this year! anyone else wicked excited?!