picture day.

the number in my countdown starts with a 2. there are no more months left to count. i am trying very hard not to let this freak me out. my sister is here to visit this weekend and take our engagement pictures. we are hoping to be very productive and hopefully put my mind a little more at ease with regards to the wedding planning side of my stress.

!!one month!! and (still) counting...

during my senior year of college, i lost my bible. it was really cute, all gray and pink with a fun pattern on the front. i looked everywhere for it, i accused Mark of hiding it, and i eventually came to terms with the fact that it was gone forever, and i should just buy a new bible that didnt have special pages in it about how to make good friends in high school. i bought a new bible that was green and blue and just as awesome. a week later, i found my old bible in Gretchen's glove compartment.

(i'm still convinced that Mark hid it there)

remember how i lost my camera's battery charger a while back? (can you see where this is going?) a few weekends ago i went to the post office to mail a package and buy more stamps. yesterday i found i had need for the stamps and went and got them from where i had stashed them in Sophie's glove compartment. this morning i got in my car to find my glove compartment hanging open, and lo and behold sitting right on top of where the stamps used to be is my battery charger! too bad i already bought a replacement...

carpet day!

only spending four hours at work today, then going to the house to wait for the carpet guys to show up (sometime between noon and four) to put carpet in the rooms!!!! then all thats left in those rooms is a little touch up paint, putting the ceiling fans back up, and turning the electricity on again. so as long as we can avoid any more oh-crap-i-just-stepped-in-a-bucket-of-paint moments, we should be good to go in no time!

ten stages.

1. Excited: congratulations! you just got engaged! your man just went out and found the absolute perfect ring and planned a huge surprise and got down on one knee and you are still trying to catch the breath that he took away. you get a lot of hugs, and smile a lot, and talk in very vague terms about all the exciting things you are going to accomplish in the next X number of months and how very excited you are to be marrying the man of your dreams.

2. Motivated: there is so much to do, and you are a machine. you bought a wedding book and are following it to the tee: you are setting a budget, and contacting vendors, and setting up site visits, and setting a date, and picking your color scheme, and choosing your bridal party, and finalizing your venue, and picking a menu, and making rain plans, and figuring out how to save money, and planning DIY projects, and scheduling dress appointments, and picking an officiant, and looking at rings, and using every waking hour (and some non-waking) to its fullest potential. you've so got this.

3. Overwhelmed: oh wait! there is so much to do!!! you still haven't thought about cake, or invitations, or flowers, or programs, or decorations, or if anyone will show up, or wedding showers, and oye vey... you need to sit down.

4. Panic!: but there is no time to sit down cuz there is so much to do and there is no way you are going to be able to pull off this wedding cuz there will be no cake and the best man will not be dressed and you will look fat in all your pictures because you stopped working out and eating well and its probably going to rain! and your wedding will be no fun and none of your pictures will be worth hanging on the wall and there's a million things to forget so whyevenputyourselfthroughthetortureofplanningitall!?!? *break down into tears*

5. Denial: you deserve a break. you've been working too hard. you dont really need to be stressing about all this wedding planning stuff. you should take this weekend off from thinking about wedding stuff. just pretend its not there. its good for you to just relax and pretend that the wedding isnt really coming up as quickly as it is.

(steps 3, 4, and 5 may be repeated multiple times, as many as desired. typically there are shorter cycles and more repetitions with shorter engagements, while the opposite is true for longer ones)

6. Jealousy: you hate anyone who is, or has ever gotten married and has posted their entire wedding online. (or even pictures on facebook for that matter) how dare they flaunt the picture-perfection of their wedding in your face like that? their homemade dress is way cuter than yours, their color scheme is way easier to work within, their DIY projects look way classier than yours, they spent way less, and their organizational skills are way beyond yours. or any other human being. i mean really, who actually has the time to be working full time, planning a wedding AND posting about it all online?!? you wish you had their life.

7. Frenzy: enough with the pity party, its time to get down to business. you are making lists and decisions left and right. you spend a couple weekends shopping. your brain and closet are stuffed with wedding things. you enlist the help of as many people as you can find to twist wire and tie bows and print programs and decorate and pull it all together. it is amazing how much you cram into the last month.

(the final three stages i have only heard rumor of on wedding boards and blogs. i am looking forward to experiencing them... if they do in fact exist)

8. Calm: its all good. everything is either taken care of, or is in very capable hands. now is the time to sit back, relax, and fully enjoy being the bride!

9. Excited: um hello!!! you're getting MARRIED!!! waiting for you at the other end of that aisle is going to be that gorgeous man we mentioned way back in stage 1 who loves you in spite of all the craziness of the past few months and he wants to spend the rest of his life with you!!! eeeek!!!!
*squeal and jump up and down and smile til your face hurts!*

10. Oblivious: the bridesmaids were wearing the wrong dresses. the getaway car broke down. your cousin passed out. your mother in law was late. your friends got lost and missed the ceremony. the candles in the centerpieces blew out. and your flowergirls fought and cried the whole way down the aisle... but wasn't the day just PERFECT?

...the sun is out and up and down again.

apparently the Smashing Pumpkins wrote a song called 'Thirty-Three'. i read through the lyrics. i do not understand why it got the name that it did.
on a more personal note, i turned in my apartment keys today! now i just have to wait for all the ridiculous charges that they'll throw at me for apparently not cleaning it sufficiently. but i'll fight em. cuz if you show up unprepared and a half an hour late for the move out inspection, you had better be prepared to deal with the wrath of a stressed out bride-to-be and new homeowner who has just been dying to unleash the bridezilla hidden within her on some poor unsuspecting victim and giggle at the ensuing confusion and insanity.

delicious.

tonight will be my third night sleeping in the house. so far, its been like camping: both in the sense that its 'intense' (say 'camping is intense' out loud and just giggle with me) and also in the 'all my food is non perishable and packed in boxes and i get dressed out of a duffel bag and i wear sandals into the bathroom' kind of way. and while at times it is very tempting for me to complain about how the house is a mess and we're still not done painting (grr on the special blue tape STILL peeling the new paint out of the corners) and all my stuff is in boxes and my fiance is going to a baseball game tonight without me and i'm pretty sure that this month is going to result in a half-planned wedding, i am getting better at reminding myself that i am blessed beyond belief to have a house to live in, and a fiance who loves me enough to clean the bathroom for me, and no matter what this month brings i WILL get married in 34 days.

God is good.

treinta y cinco.

its been just over two weeks since i started an official daily count down. it does not feel like its been that long. but at the same time, the numbers are dropping quickly as the days fly by and i'm starting to realize just how much time i dont have left. we are at the five week mark, and its crazy to think that just over five weeks ago we had just closed on the house. that doesnt really feel like it was all that long ago - are the next five weeks going to go by just as quickly?