it was Pap.

i was shoveling the driveway on Sunday afternoon. the biggest snow event of the season, a whopping 6 whole inches, and i was digging us out while Mark worked inside on moving the attic access.  i about jumped out of my skin at the sound of his voice as it carried so loud and clear across the winter silence of the fresh snow- "Amanda, your mom is on the phone."

my mind was racing as i sprinted up the driveway and tossed my shovel into a snowbank, covering miles of mental ground as my body covered a couple hundred feet. it couldn't be Pap. he had to have more time than this.  Dad had just texted on Thursday night, a message that i didn't read until Friday morning, "Pap isn't doing well."  i had, just moments prior, laughed to myself about Pap's winter hat sitting high up on his head well above his ears, as i had just pushed my own hat up off my overheating forehead. he had to have more time than this.

we didn't go visit this weekend. we figured it would stress Gram out to have us arrive without any advance notice. we knew Pap would not recognize us, and we were not sure we wanted to remember him not remembering us. its selfish, but i wanted to remember him from this past summer, when he called me Girl and we danced in the kitchen. "Manda Dawn, what's that flower you have on?" in that moment, behind those eyes that had been confused and lost for so long, it was Pap.

mom's voice broke on the phone as she choked out the words that she didn't want to have to say and i didn't want to hear. it was Pap.

December, lately.

Lately, we have been ...

... ordering kitchen cabinets. and kitchen appliances. and trying to finalize what seems like a million other design decisions. i am beginning to realize that i am WAY out of my league on this one - this whole kitchen renovation is big, and involves things like contractors and custom cabinets, and i do not know the first real thing about a renovation process that isn't completely do-it-yourself, fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants and make-a-million-trips-to-home-depot.  but i did update my idea board from August to try and get a better handle on what i might like the floors to look like. thoughts?

PS Mark is planning to start demo this week, so if you have an opinion, now is the time to voice it!

... squealing over every picture of Baby Levi. and over how very adorable and tiny the Christmas jammies are that we bought for him. its kind of hard to believe that he is really real and on the outside, even after spending all day Christmas just snuggling his perfect little self. so excited to see him again (along with the rest of the fam!) in just a couple weeks

... crafting Christmas presents. i have most of them done and wrapped, but believe it or not i still have three half-done at home, and i just thought up two more today to add to my list. that's the upside of celebrating Christmas late this year - a couple extra weeks to get everything done!

... wrapping Christmas presents. i spent an entire Sunday with wrapping paper and the Gilmore Girls. it was a good day, indeed.

... visiting Gram and Pap. we got our first tin of candy when we visited at Thanksgiving, and i left that one at Stasi's house. we got a second! tin of candy on this trip, but unfortunately forgot it on Gram's kitchen counter. major sadface. we are going back in a couple weeks, but i am not holding out hope that there will even be much candy left, let alone even the slimmest of chances that our tin will still be there waiting for us.

... wearing Christmas jammies.  i dont even care that they are mainstream and cliche and i am probably at least four years behind the trend, but i got myself and my husband (non-matching) holiday sleepwear this year and it was downright festive.

... celebrating Julie's wedding! everything was absolutely GORGEOUS - the bride, the venue, the weather (50 degrees and sunny in late December, what!) and i think the only real crises involved the bridesmaids earrings.  there were zero casualties and only minor bloodshed. Julie and Nate are currently on their honeymoon, and i honestly could not be more happy for them.  SO thankful that i got to be a part of their big day.

tomorrow is not far away.

yesterday, i packed a suitcase.

tomorrow, i will hug my grandparents. i will hug my sister and brother-in-law. i will snuggle Baby Levi and eat his adorable baby toes.

but today, i sit in my cubicle and watch the foggy, rain-soaked world outside my window.

i am SO looking forward to tomorrow.

thankful 2014: december wrapup.

45. vacation days. long weekends are the best. thankful for a few days off work in the middle of a busy season.

46. in-laws.  thankful for the generous family that my husband comes from.  thankful for laughter and games and time spent together.

50. grandparents. thankful that Gram is willing and able to alter my bridesmaid dress for me. thankful that Pap pretends to know who i am. thankful for good memories around the kitchen table. thankful that gram still makes candy.

55. aunts and uncles and cousins. thankful that no one bats an eye when we rolled in just in time for lunch - in fact, we had pizza in hand and a seat at the table (or on the steps) almost before we even said hello. i am thankful for every single one of them.

81. my fat sister. and Balthazar who is making her fat. and her husband Micah who let Mark hang out with them all last weekend while i was bridal showering and bachelorette partying.

84. laser tag. part of Julie's bachelorette festivities was playing laser tag in fancy dresses. thankful that i had a fancy dress that fit me. thankful for an amazingly fun group of girls to spend the evening with.

93. Christmas decorations. we are keeping Christmas really low-key this year, since we are planning to start demo for the kitchen project right after the holiday. thankful that we already had a tree in the basement, and plenty of ornaments and lights and tinsel to make decorating for the season quick and painless.

 

98. online shopping. and two-day delivery. i have a feeling that these two things will constitute a large portion of my Christmas shopping this month. thankful for technology that facilitates my laziness.

100. traditions. thankful for the challenge of this thankful list every year. thankful that it directs my thoughts towards thankfulness, and away from whining. of course i can still be plenty whiny, but i am at least more aware of it.

thankful 2014: first edition

as has become a family tradition, i will be attempting to list 100 things that i am thanking God for throughout the month of November.  there is no particular order to the items on my list, although i am following the lead of my wonderful mother this year and intending to explain them each a little bit, rather than just list them.

1. my job. i have a very good job. it is stable, it is in the field i studied in college, and it has a traditional monday through friday work week. this means that i reliably have weekends off and can afford both the time and dollars to do things like drive to Pittsburgh for a few days to hang out with people i love. thankful for a consistent schedule.

2. Sophie.  yes, i named my car. i bought her with my own money (and my dad's co-signature) after graduation, and five years later i own her outright. she is a great traveling buddy, and she has facilitated most of my best memories in recent years. thankful for her reliability.

3. Gordon is broken. so while i was traveling this weekend i relied heavily on my backup GPS on my phone, which took me to my BFITW's house by way of my sister's house. she was surprised to have a trick-or-treater come to her house on Friday night, and even more surprised that it was me! thankful for backup GPS and spontaneous sister visits.

4. a BFITW. everyone should have a Best Friend In The World. i am especially thankful that mine isn't afraid to have the tough conversations, tell the hard truths, or share the awkward moments. and she gives the best hugs. thankful for her best-friendhsip.

5. work friends. its nice when the people you are forced to spend 40 hours a week with are also people that you genuinely like to be around. thankful to have people to joke with throughout the day, who speak my same sarcastic language. 

6. a captivating podcast. started listening to Serial while i was driving to Pittsburgh and back. devoured the first six episodes. a little disappointed that now i have to wait for new episodes to be released weekly to try and figure out who-dunnit. thankful for anything that makes a long drive seem to go faster.

7. my Momma. we have a standing phone date on Friday afternoons to chat about work and life and occasionally make pizza together. thankful to be close with her.

8. my husband. when i got home last night, the house was clean. the dishes were done. he was folding the laundry. so very thankful that he loves me.

three-day weekends.

I feel like I've said it before, and I'm sure I will say it again someday, but I think all weekends should be three day weekends. They are just the best. Two day weekends are alright, but they just don't hold a candle to the sheer beauty of three full days of not being at work. There is unlimited possibility. Endless potential for adventure. The promise of being so very productive, and at the same time a sense of joy in knowing that actually being productive is not actually a requirement.

 hiking Maryland Heights

 

 I took off work the past two Fridays, giving myself the gift of two three-day weekends in a row to celebrate and soak in the end of summer.  The first weekend was originally going to be a beach weekend, but when that fell through it turned into an entire three days of nothing. It was sleeping in, and eating out, and doing just a couple little projects around the house, but mostly sitting on the couch binge-watching Sherlock on Netflix, and ignoring any and all of our grown-up responsibilities.

Old Town Harpers Ferry



too creepy to pass up

 

This past weekend, we went to Harper's Ferry with the in-laws for a couple days of hiking, ziplining, and white water rafting.  While there was a lot of rain, it never negatively impacted our adventures - the rain would stop just before our planned activites, and then start up again once we had finished.  The sun even came out a couple times! It was weird weather for the end of August, to be sure, but we were having so much fun we hardly noticed. 

in a tree over the Potomac River



 

With next weekend being Labor Day (already!? this year is FLYING by!), that will make three three-day-weekends in a row for my tiny family. Our plans right now are a bit up in the air as far as which adventures we are going to be able to accomplish and which ones we will have to skip, but no matter what I have a feeling that it will be great. Because that's just how three day weekends roll, yo.

a day of crabs and carnivals.

last weekend, the nephieces came to visit. they were really only here for one full day, but oh what a day it was! we woke up early and spent the morning dollar shopping (yardsailing) with our friend Nadine. the kids each had a dollar to spend, and thanks to some generous sellers the adults managed to fill up our car without spending much more than the kids!

 

after lunch we made crab cakes, because this is maryland after all. but instead of old bay, we spiced them up with frosting and candy. sound gross? not by a long shot. check out these cuties!

 



 

and ok, maybe an alien or two slipped in there too...

 

 original pinspiration here

and then, because our day hadn't been packed full of enough fun already, we headed to the carnival for the evening!  the kids were almost too excited to eat any carnival food, but once they did we were all about the rides.

first stop: roller coaster. hands in the air the whole time. best thing ever.

N was close to tears over not being tall enough to ride the giant slide...

...but he made up for it by driving the big-rigs.

 



the spinning dragons were a hit - its so fun that they are big enough to spin them all by themselves!

 

i have never seen a kid more excited to go fishing. there werent even any worms involved, but both N and C caught a shark and walked away with a fun little prize.

 these cars (dune buggys?) bounced up and down as they went around, and made the absolute best 'sproing!' noise.

 

N was a little ladies man in his jeep. and dont think his car filled up just because all of the other cars were full - there were completely empty cars on this ride. N is just that handsome.

 

 

and can you believe that C is big enough to ride her very own motorcycle?  crazypants.  its kind of impresive the amount of fun that can be had with a limited number of tickets.

 

 

and then, just when we thought our tickets were all gone and it was time to head home, a woman offered us the rest of her family's unused tickets. there were enough for the kids to each do one more ride, so we circled back to the rollercoaster for one last ride!

 

 before heading home, Uncle Mark suggested a detour to the Creamery to round out the night with ice cream. we ate our cones outside on the patio because it was just that perfect of a summer evening.

what a great day. lets do it again soon, mmk?

my MIL is funnier than your MIL.

Mark's grandfather had surgery last week to fix a deteriorated disk in his spine. Over the weekend, we got an update when we saw Mark's mom:

M: how's everything going?
C: well, Pop didn't make it...

*pause*

C: ...in time to come to church this morning.

we about died laughing. her ability to spread news and rumors simultaneously is a true gift. see also another recent incident:

C: have you heard Mark and Amanda's big news?
*pause*
C: They passed their PE exams!


**not pregnant. just to be clear. our big news really is that we passed the exam, its just the presentation of the information that may lead people to believe otherwise.**

so we went to florida.

and it was absolutely lovely. the perfect little getaway to celebrate FINALLY being done studying for and taking the PE exam. we stayed at my Aunt's beautiful beach house in Panama City Beach, and thanks to how wonderful this trip was, "own a beach house" has now moved up a few places on my bucket list.

 5 days full of sunshiney, warm, fun, breeziness with only a little bit of thunderstormy, tornado-ish, floodedness at the end.

 
the beach was gorgeous and not at all crowded. the water was a pleasant temperature once  you got used to it, and the surf was calm at first, but picked up a bit as the days went on, so we got some good wave jumping in later in the week.

 

 we lounged, we played games, we swam in the gulf, we relaxed, we rode bikes, we ate ice cream, we got sunburnt, and there was at least one day we just didnt wear pants because we were sunburnt and it was thunderstormy and we had no real reason to leave the house because pizza delivery is a great invention.

 

 

i got my camera out of its case for the second time since February (seriously, zero pictures of March this year) and it was nice to excercise my shutter finger again. 

10 pictures of this bird. only one decently non-blurry one.

 i needed this. we needed this. this winter was cold and nasty and long and full of drudgery, so this little taste of early summer with the sunshine and the warmth and the chilling out was perfect.

not dead. just not feeling wordy lately.

so. sorry about the radio silence around these parts. i'm still here. still living life, eating regularly, going to work, doing all of the important things like laundry and dishes and i think i might have even cleaned the bathroom recently so yeah, i'm pretty much a rockstar. *brushes off shoulder* but as far as writing anything? sharing my stories? documenting the life i am living right now? eh, not so much. *shrugs* and i'm kind of ok with that.

winter is tough - it is cold and lonely and dark and lasts way too long after Christmas and i'm just now realizing that i'm really only about halfway through the season. gross. but what i'm trying to say is that i feel like as long as i am surviving, i'm doing ok - even if the documentation side of things is slipping.

so just in case you've been wondering, this is what i've been up to lately:
(and i even made my list alliterative! just because i can! Cope would be so proud!)

Sister Christmas. we travelled to Pennsylvania the weekend between Christmas and New Year's to celebrate with my family. i took zero pictures of our extended family celebration at Aunt Sara's house - i figured cousin Sarah had it covered - but did manage some pictures of our mini-Christmas with the sisters and our families.

we even had a tiny tree to put our presents under!

 

 Mark's present came in a Victoria's Secret bag...

 

  don't you love my sister's new hat?

Skiing. for the second year in a row, i survived the Shifflett family ski trip. and i liked it! we went to a different mountain this year - Showshoe, WV. the trails were tougher, and it took me a while to re-remember how to make it down the mountain upright (i ended the weekend with a grand total of 12 wipeouts and one giant hip bruise...apparently i always land on the same spot) but we had a really good time. my camera spent the weekend in my purse so i don't have any pictures, but my FIL took some good ones (and at least one terrible one that i couldn't convince him to delete) so if those ever actually make it off of their camera i might share a few.

Studying. the day we got back from our long skiing weekend, we also started an online review course for the PE Exam we're taking in April. ever since then, literally all of my free time has been spent with my giant review books; either reading theory, listening to lectures, working problems, or weeping in despair because right now it feels like there is no way i will ever re-learn all of this stuff in the next 79 days.

(not) Sewing. so i got that great sewing machine for Christmas. and i have some good ideas for sewing projects. and i have created a "sew fun!" pinerest board. and because of the aforementioned skiing and studying, i have had zero time to actually sew anything. sigh.

Shopping. mostly for groceries and other necessary but not necessarily fun things.  i feel like i have spent a lot of time at the grocery store, which probably isn't even true because Mark's new job is right across the street from the grocery store so he has been doing a lot of the shopping for me. but, it started with an S so it made the list. i have been to Walmart twice in the past week to buy exciting things like lint filters for my utility sink and mini saltines and a dishpan. and ok i also impulse bought the movie Tangled just because i wanted to watch it. maybe i'll watch it again tomorrow...

Singing. the Frozen soundtrack. constantly. all the time. obsessed. have you seen this movie? is it even still in theaters? we saw it on a date night on New Years, and you need to see it too. trust me.

Sparkles. ok so this isn't really a thing i've been doing, but it snowed yesterday and it's a little windy today and all of the blowing snow outside my office window looks like one massive glitter party and it makes me smile.

my favorite gift of the year.

last year, i gave a lot of homemade Christmas gifts - wooden signs, soap dispensers, personalized mugs, large paintings, i was gettin' all pinteresty all over the place. and i loved every minute of the madness.

 

this year, i did more shopping than i did crafting, and i am thrilled with all of the gifts i am giving. but when it comes to homemade gifts, i have to say that i might have outdone myself this year on one of the most epic homemade gifts i have ever made: a personalized stationary bottle opener for my brother-in-law-in-law. 

 

i got the idea for a bottle opener from one of those lame gift guide lists that are all over the internet in December, and i knew it would make a perfect gift. but i also knew that instead of spending $34 plus shipping to buy the finished product, i could probably make a better version for less. so i did.

i found a stationary bottle opener online, and decided to add a cap catcher for good measure. i designed the sign in powerpoint, (with some inspiration found here) prepped and cut and stained the wood, then finally painted it over the weekend. i applied the third and final coat of poly around 10:30pm on Christmas Eve, and then finished putting it all together Christmas morning. considering i ordered all the parts on December 2, i didn't think it would wind up being so down to the wire, but i guess that's just how it goes sometimes.

all told, i invested $22 in the opener and the cap catcher, and several hours of quality time spent with some powertools and my paintbrushes. the finished product is so worth it. i am ridiculously happy with how it all turned out, and was even more thrilled that Russ liked it too! i'm not sure if people are supposed to have favorite gifts that they have given, but this is definitely mine for this year.

a little thing.

one should never underestimate the joy that is asking a random stranger to take your picture and having them actually do a good job.



 

everyone looking, smiling, and nicely framed so you can actually see the point of the picture in the background!

a girls weekend. (plus nick)



 "wouldn't life be perfect if... goodbyes only meant until tomorrow."

this weekend, on her way home from a week-long beach vacation, my mom planned a weekend-long layover at my house. my sisters both drove in to visit, and it just so happened to be the same weekend that the hubs had planned a boys-weekend in Buffalo, so we had ourselves a girls-weekend. with nick.

 

we visited the topiary gardens, and we picnicked, and we went apple picking, and we made and ate an apple pie, and we made applesauce, and we played sequence, and we went out for brunch, and we shopped for my sister's new house, and we almost finished a little project, and we just hung out and had an absolutely wonderful time, and i only took 22 pictures the whole weekend.

i've heard people say that it is important to not view your life through a camera lens. that it is important to put your camera down and just be in a moment instead of documenting it. i guess i kind of did that this weekend - but only because my camera battery died early in the day and i don't have a phone that can double as an acceptable backup plan.

i managed to take 11 pictures, somewhat carefully spaced to maximize my battery life, before my camera was completely drained. so once it was dead, i stowed it in my purse and made up my mind to just rely on my mom and sister for pictures. but i wasn't entirely happy about it.

i wanted to take my own pictures. to capture the days from my own perspective. i felt a little bit sad and cheated that my own oversight and my dead camera battery took much of that opportunity away from me.

without my camera, i spent time marvelling over fish in ponds, searching for blue flowers, picking apples (lift, twist, pull!) and laughing so so much with some of my favorite people, and i vowed that as soon as i got home i would charge my battery and do better at picture-taking the rest of the weekend so that i could easily remember these moments with my sisters together and my neice and nephew at 6 and 4 and my mom at [REDACTED] and all of us all together in one place.

but then once i got home and charged my battery, i only took 11 more pictures the whole weekend. none of them had my mom in them. i only have a picture of one of my sisters. its a great picture of a sweet moment, but you can't even see her face in it. i took zero pictures of the faces of my mom and my sisters during an entire weekend that we spent together.

but i do have 2 pictures of the homemade apple pie a la mode.

so what does that say about my priorities?

i'm almost certain that i am overthinking this, because everyone just left this morning and i miss them all terribly and my house is so quiet and empty. but quite honestly, i don't think i have the right balance quite yet between experiencing moments and documenting them. because i had a wonderful time this weekend and i enjoyed every single minute and we laughed a lot and we made some fantastic memories... but i'm kind of disappointed that i don't have many pictures of those memories... no memory joggers to look back on later.

so i guess we'll all just have to get together again soon and do it all over again. and let's remember to get at least one group picture next time, mmkay?

astronauts, birdseed, and moose.

as the title might suggest, there is no real rhyme, reason, or cohesive thought that holds this post together. it is what it is. because remember that one time i mentioned that July was kind of crazy-awesome-busy? take that, extend it by a few weeks, pack just a little bit more into each weekend, and that's kind of what my August felt like too. and honestly-it kind of wrecked me.

action camp ran straight into a beach vacation dumped us back into craziness at work interrupted by weekends of bonfires and a wedding and then sisters weekend with a quick turnaround into more big work meetings all capped off with a western week of camping and family fun.

ugh. i'm exhausted just reading all that.

each and every day had its own something special, and i kind of just want to wrap myself up in the memories and never leave...so, here's some pictures of august? with maybe a little bit of commentary but maybe not a whole lot? here goes.

action camp was space-themed this year, because when we LOOK UP to the heavens, we should be AMAZED BY GOD. i tried my best to convey God's grace, glory, and might to my young charges as much as i could, but i think i spent most of my time saying "please sit down, i'm so glad you have a dog, put your shirt back on, don't climb on that, come back here, who needs a bathroom break, simon says put your hands in the air! now is not the time for turbo speed, where are your shoes?"

i was the group leader for the green team, which was obviously the best team. here are some of us pretending to be big gorillas while we waited between stations. the rest of the team is either a) confused, b) oblivious, or c) totally pretending not to know these weirdos.

 



mmm... beach.  

 

 

 

 

we were only at the beach with Mark's family for a long weekend, but we did dinner out one night at a restaurant called Sedona. it was a bit more fancy than we were anticipating, but oh my word that food was one of the most delicious, delightful, dareisay thrilling things i've ever eaten.

 

(ps have i mentioned how delightful this fish tasted? let me just tell you one more time. DELIGHTFUL)



 

mark and i have not always agreed on what constitutes proper dress code for certain events: church, cookouts, funerals, weddings, etc. so i was mentally preparing myself for the inevitable "will you please just wear a tie this time?" fight, when Mark surprised me by saying "i think i'll wear a suit."

 

 

 

most tame, un-messy cake cutting ever. these guys are adorable. also: fantastic dancers.

 

 

 the newlyweds stopped by our house to change before they left for their honeymoon, since we live approximately 0.2 miles from the reception venue. mark took it upon himself to clean the extraneous birdseed off their car so that "massive bird attack" was not any part of their wedding story.

 

out of the three days we spent at my sister's house, i only have pictures of one part of one day. i documented the part where we hiked 3 miles to see the fire tower in Cook Forest. i did not document the float down the Clarion River, or the bonfire dinner, or the midnight toilet paper Walmart run, or church in the morning, or the tour of what may or may not be stasi's new house. so many exciting things!

 

 

i took this picture one day at work. on this particular day, i started my day in the Maryland office, attended a meeting in Delaware, hiked several miles of overgrown trail, and then drove to the York office for my fantasy football draft. 1 company, 3 offices, 3 states, 1 day. that was a good day.

 

two days later, i was on a plane. i took 23 pictures out of the plane window as we made our descent into Salt Lake City. the landscape just kept changing so drastically, and i was amazed by it.

 

we saw a moose while we were out west. this was the first picture i took of it, when i thought that this was the best shot i was going to be able to get.

i thought it was just going to quickly retreat back into the woodline, but instead she wandered down closer to the lake.

MUCH closer, in fact. and then, she just wandered her way along the path around the lake. after mom and dad brought the tandem kayak back in, mark and i took a spin and caught up with the moose at the far end of the lake, where we sat and watched that awesomely giant animal just chill by the lake until she wandered back up into the woods. so cool.

i'm thinking about just running away to the mountains. living off the grid. cooking all my food over a fire and sleeping in a tent. as long as said mountains are within walking distance of a bathroom and i have occasional access to a grocery store, i could totally do it. want to come with me?

 

my mom would come with me. she loves me, and she loves the mountain, and she feels the same way about the necessity of bathrooms and a grocery store. we would be unstoppable.

 

i'm not allowed to say much about this photo, or post any of the other ones i took of my mom's super secret project. but keep an eye on her blog for the next few days/weeks/months for the reveal, because you're not going to want to miss this one.

this was the worst part. getting back on the plane to head home. i briefly contemplated initiating a one-woman sit-in in the backseat of my mom's car so i wouldnt have to leave. although getting to board the plane from the tarmac did have kind of a rockstar-esque feeling to it, which was pretty fun i guess.

like i said, i am really wishing i could keep August around a little longer, but its probably better that i actually try to move on a little bit because september? (no WAY can it already be september!!) is starting to look like its just going to be more of the same: crazy. awesome. i can't wait!