coworker encounters of the strangest kind...

the following stories are true; i should know, all events have transpired at my place of employment within the past week, and i was somehow involved in them all. the behavior described within these stories is strange. i will leave it up to you to decide which party involved in each story was the strange one.

Encounter #1:
She has decided that, in order to meet new people and get a free workout at the same time, she is going to partake in the after-work fitness classes being offered at her company one night a week. She is at her third class, but is meeting him for the first time - their paths had not previously crossed at any work-related function. He has a giant, nasty and fresh-looking scab on the left side of his face, stretching from his bottom lip to his chin. The following conversation occurs (paraphrased):

She: Hi, I'm She. I work upstairs.
He: Hi, I'm He.
She: What happened to your face?

She is just chock-full of grace and tact. He responds with a lame story of being falling-down-drunk. She suggests that He make up a more interesting story for the future.  She realizes only later that, since she had not previously met him, there was a chance that the thing on his face might not have been a new thing. He might have had a skin condition of some sort, or a permanent birthmark or deformity on his face. She dies a little on the inside just thinking about how rude she had the potential of being. So much for making new friends.


Encounter #2:
She is talking and joking around with her Male Coworker Friend about how he always knows when She is walking over to his desk.

MCF: Maybe you should start walking more quietly.
She: Are you calling me fat?

She justbarely bites her tongue before finishing the rest of that inside-joke-that-MCF-is-not-in-on, which is the definitely inappropriate for coworker conversation, "are you looking down my shirt? stop that!"
She giggles to herself anyway just thinking about it.


Encounter #3:
She is having a conversation with a Female Coworker about the cute shoes she is wearing and where she got them. (because I know you're curious, She is wearing Dr. Scholl's Franca Flats in Rainbow Stripe which She bought at DSW for her birthday two years ago.) A Male Coworker walks by, pausing to join the conversation

FC: i love your shoes - i was looking for similar ones online but they are hard to find.
She: thank you. yeah, i got them a while ago so they're probably not exactly current.
MC: those are really nice shoes. i might need to get some.
She and FC: (gives MC a curious look)
MC: not for me. would you mind if i took a picture of them?
She: sure?

and then he took a picture of my feet.

i can't even think of anything else to add to that story.

golf for dummies, by dummies.

1. you should probably own a putter. and just in case you were wondering, the club in your bag with the P printed on the bottom is not it. that's apparently a pitching wedge. looks nothing like a putter. common mistake, i hear.

 

2. only use a tee once per hole. tees belong in the tee box, when you tee off. that's it. once you're out on the fairway (or the rough, or the sandtrap) your tee is of no use. leave it in the cart. or your pocket. but if you put it in your pocket, remember that's where it is or else you will look silly after you lose or break all of your tees and then have to borrow a tee only to find that a tee has been hiding in your pocket for the last couple hours.

3. keep your head down. if you lift your head, or take your eye off the ball, or blink at the wrong time, you will either whiff or send the ball flying into a tree or watch it land approximately 10 feet in front of you. generally you would like to get more distance out of your swings. (hits? strokes? i dont understand golf lingo)

4. dont be afraid of divots. divots happen. if you are aftraid of them, you will likely swing too high and just nick the top of the ball, or whiff completely. because golf is a giant frustrating head-game. neither of these will get the ball much closer to the green. hit the ball, fill the hole, and move on.

5. your drink tickets are a perk, not a challenge. so you have four drink tickets. and then your friend gives you their three they aren't using. and then someone else slips you five more. this is not a challenge to down a dozen beers before 2pm.  enjoy your drinks, but keep in mind that maybe a company event is not the best opportunity to be shotgunning beers in the parking lot.

6. sometimes the best ball is in the sand. whoops.

7. your golf glove is probably more fancy than you realize. in fact, it might even come with a built-in ball marker. looks like a useless snap-on decoration, actually a useful piece of golf equipment. i discovered mine on about the 17th hole of the day. so fancy!

8. there is no number eight. i dont know that much about golf.
but look! video! not as funny as last years, but proof that every now and again i can hit a decent shot.

 

 

round two.

the office is all a-buzz with talk of drivers and irons this afternoon.  there were at least a dozen people at the driving range over lunch. yes, it is company golf tournament time once again. and yes, once again i am right in the thick of it.

tomorrow, i will play my second round of golf. ever.  and surprisingly, i am not the most inexperienced person on our team this year. in fact, i even have my very own clubs. i got them at a yardsale this summer - spent ten whole dollars on the entire set, including the fancy new bag. they are men's clubs, which means i have to choke up on my driver a good bit, but for what averages out to less than a dollar per club? i can deal with that.

i also have my very own golf glove. it is white with pink accents. i was hoping to find one with some red and black in it (to match my fancy golf bag of course) but apparently women who golf can only have pink things. because breast cancer. or something like that.

today i learned how to drive the ball straight more consistently. i thought it involved "breaking my wrists" but apparently that is not the correct terminology - rather, i learned how to "snap my wrists" which sounds just as painful. in reality, i learned that if i roll my wrists forward right when i hit the ball, while also managing to keep the head of my club turned just so, and my left arm stays straight, with my knees bent, and my head down, (this reminds me of a girl scout song!) and then finally  follow through just right, then sometimes the ball goes kind of straight.

the rest of the time, it generally veers in the direction of other people's heads.

my teammates are planning to bring helmets to the tournament tomorrow. i think they're only half-joking.

well that's a first.

Dear Self -

let's get it together and either get skinny, or get pregnant.

let's save ourselves and those around us from any more super-awkward copy-room encounters and get out of this in-between, yes i really AM just fat, i'd rather not have to get into the specifics of my menstrual cycle to prove it to you, middle-ground of awkwardness.

for everyone's sake, let's start exercising again pleaseandthankyou.

Love Always,
Mando

PS apparently those super-comfortable new maxi skirts are not doing your midsection any favors right now. suck it in, girlfriend.

milestone.

four years of school.

four years of work experience.

one crazy long application process.

four months of studying.

eight hours of examination.

six weeks of waiting.

 

combine, shake well, and just like that,

 

 bam. professional.

i still don't quite have my head wrapped all the way around this one. which is pretty understandable, given the fact that i just found out yesterday afternoon in a flurry of frantic half-panicked emails between me and the hubs. (he passed too, btw!) so we plan to spend our memorial day relaxing, workin on some projects around the house (remember that one time i told you mark was building a bed frame? and have i mentioned my new upholstery project?) and calling each other "professional" as much as we can stand.

"my, aren't you looking professional this morning?" "why yes i am, thanks for noticing. what would my professional spouse desire for their professional dinner this evening?" "oh, i think some professional tacos would suffice quite nicely." "i whole-heartedly concur my good professional."

free time, defined.

 

free time does not exist. all time is filled with something.

sometimes multiple things.

simplified, my time right now is mostly spent like this:

work, eat, study, sleep.

 

two months and counting.

 

 

you doubt? a demonstration!

so yeah, about that whole golf thing...

i did it. i spent a whole day on a golf course. and... it wasn't terrible. definitely not the worst way i've ever spent a day.

what's that? you don't believe me? you think that i'm just making up this whole ridiculous story just to have something interesting to blog about? you want proof? i'll show you proof.

here is my golf cart:

see, my name is right on it! 

and this is me, sitting in my golf cart:

there. proof that i was totally on the golf course on saturday.

what now? you say that doesn't count? you want to actually see pictures of actual golf actually happening?

ok fine. here is some real, live golf happening:

driving 

putting 

whiffing

(please note the ball still firmly on the ground)

i can sense from here that you are thinking about calling shenanigans on this whole amanda-went-golfing business. but speaking of shenanigans...

babboon butt driver cover 

golf carts and curbs dont mix 

fishing for golf balls 

 happy gilmore

(there is video of this, but i'm having trouble uploading it.)

**UPDATED** LOOK!!! VIDEO!!!!!

doesn't golf look like so much fun? oh. you're still not convinced. i get it. because really, what do those pictures prove? that golf really happened on saturday and i was there to document it? whoop-dee-freakin-doo. golf happens all the time. i know what you came here to see. so here you go: pictures of me. golfing.



me and my (borrowed) driver

 lining up my drive

gosh, i have fantastic form... not.

i sank a few good putts. this was not one of them. 

and the real kicker for this post, my piece de resistance, is the video that my golf buddy shot of my drive on the last hole of the day. and as soon as i can figure out how to upload it without getting an error message, i'm going to do that. because i've watched it approximately a million times already because it just makes me happy, and i want to share that joy with you.

**UPDATED** MORE VIDEO!!!

spoiler alert: we didn't win the tournament. we didn't even place in our division. our team shot one over par for the course, which i think is pretty darn impressive. (especially with me on the team!) and it was a fun day spent with nice, encouraging people so i call that a definite win overall. and i might even be able to be convinced to do it again next year, so we'll just have to wait and see what happens in my potential future sort of maybe golf "career."

this golf thing is driving a wedge between us.

there was a point in my college career at which i realized that eventually college would end, and that ending would require some degree of growing up, and that growing up would more than likely involve stretching myself in some ways beyond my collegiate comfort zone and doing new, adult-ish things. i do believe the words that came out of my mouth, spoken under my breath to my friend who was seated next to me so as not to disrupt the presenter with my epiphany, were the following:

 

"crap, i'm going to have to learn how to golf, huh?"

fast forward no less than four years to today. in a moment of temporary insanity and an attempt to build relationships with my coworkers, i signed up to participate in the company golf tournament in two weeks. up until this moment, my golf experience has been... how should i put this delicately... limited. but i mean its not like i've never touched a golf club before. i'm a half-decent mini-golfer. and i played par-3 that one time in high school. and sure, i did manage to hit my ball into the pond, but i was wearing khakis while i did it so that counts for something right?

yesterday, a conversation broke out about 3-irons and 5-woods and it was like everyone was speaking pig-latin or maybe just actual latin and i just wasn't in on the joke but what i think i learned is that the 3-iron is useless and i probably shouldnt use a men's driver. also, this joke:

Bob: so what do you do when you are out on the course and a thunderstorm rolls in?
Jon: well, i usually run to the middle of the green and hold my 1-iron straight up in the air.
Bob: why on earth would you do that? don't you know you could get struck by lightning?
Jon: it doesn't worry me at all. even God can't hit a 1-iron.

apparently that's funny for mysteriously unknown golf-related reasons.

i am one member of a four-person team. i signed up with three other people who actually had a number to put in the "handicap/average score" box. they convinced me that "yes" would not be an appropriate response when asked if i had a golf handicap, so i just put "1st timer" in that box. our team is going to the driving range over lunch today. probably again next week too. and i am planning a shopping trip over the weekend for an appropriate khaki/plaid/argyle golf outfit to help me blend in with the old pros. it seems like a pretty good plan, and i'm excited to be a part of it.

wish me luck!

meal plan tuesday: august 6.

so yesterday was... how should i put this... crap-tastic. emphasis on both the crap AND the (fan)tastic.

i left my house at 6:30am and didnt make it home again until 9pm. thats 14.5 hours, for those of you can't be bothered to do the math for yourselves. everything inbetween was non-stop action and excitement, whether it was a full day at work, or discovering the joys of a speed trap when you're already running late, or being late on your first night of being the lead herder for 20+ four-and-five-year-olds at Action Camp. (love those kids. highlight of my day by far) and then when i thought i had already crammed in as much fun as possible for the day, i wrapped it all up by dropping a giant stack of plywood on my knee. once the swelling goes down a bit more, i have a feeling that this is going to be quite a spectacular, long-lasting bruise.

needless to say, there was zero time for meal planning yesterday. hopefully the rest of the week will be a little less action packed, but since i am still going to be working during the day AND brushing up on my cat-herding skills heading up the PreK-K group at Action Camp in the evenings, i have the feeling that (hopefully minus the cops and the bodily injury) the rest of the week is going to be pretty much the same kind of crazy.

i'm very thankful that they're feeding me every night at Action Camp this week, but since Mark couldn't be a helper this year he's on his own for dinners. good thing he has an awesome wife to at least point him in some semblance of a direction:

Monday: leftover potatoes.
Tuesday: leftover soup.
Wednesday: frozen raviolis in jar sauce.
Thursday: taco night.
Friday: egg sandwich.
Saturday - Monday: beach time!


PS if you think of it, be praying for Action Camp this week - this year is the biggest year yet, and there is a lot of work that goes into effectively sharing God's good news with all of these kids, which is something that the enemy is going to do his best to prevent!

meal plan monday: feb 18.

happy Monday y'all! i have absolutely nothing interesting to say today.

i guess i should probably mention something about my weekend - it was a good one. it was informative and productive and fun and frustrating and way too short. mark had to physically stop me from crawling back into bed this morning before work. too bad my company hates the presidents, otherwise i could have slept in today. (just kidding, my company is wonderful and loves america. please dont fire me!)

also, its week two of meal planning via the board i made last weekend and i still love this. it took me all of 18 minutes last night to pick out meals for this week, rearrange the board, and make my grocery list. there are still a few kinks to work out in the system, but the basics are all there, and they are awesome.

so without further boring, rambling ado: this weeks plan:

Monday: chicken parmesan with spaghetti. (recipe-ish)
Tuesday: chicken fried rice. (recipe)
Wednesday: crock pot chicken noodle soup. (recipe)
Thursday: frozen raviolis.
Friday: Meg's fish packets with veggies and rice. (recipe)
Saturday: lazy lasagna.
Sunday: angel hair w/ zucchini & tomato. (recipe)

cubicle buddy.

say hello to my little friend.

he hangs out on the plant that hangs in the corner of my cube directly behind my desk chair. he's been there just like that for a full week. i can't decide if he's the kind of friend that's got my back, or the kind that's just hanging around and waiting for the opportune time to stab me in the back. 

**shudder**

i'm not really sure i want to find out.

hair today, gone tomorrow?

this is what my hair looks like today, right now, sitting at my desk at work:

i am tired of it. i have been growing out my hair for the better part of this whole year, and i am just done with having long hair. so i'm going to cut it off.  and i'm feeling a little bit drastic today, so this is kind of what i'm thinking:

i'm just a little nervous, because 1) this would be the shortest my hair has ever been, and 2) i really dont want it to turn out like this:

no. just no.

or there's always the safer, tried and true option of an angled bob - longer in the front, stacked in the back.

either way, i still plan to donate my hair, and i think it should be long enough to do so. Locks of Love requires 10 inches, and Pantene Beautiful Lengths requires 8 inches to donate, so i've got options. of course, how much i donate depends on how much hair i have left to chop after all the split ends are trimmed off. after the trim, if i dont have enough length to donate, then i'll walk away with just a trim. but when i measured my hair this morning, (top ten random uses for an engineering scale!) the longest pieces were over 10 inches, so i think i have plenty to work with.

i have an appointment booked for tomorrow morning. this is going to happen. if anyone sees any reason that this hair should not be chopped, let them speak now or forever* hold their peace.

*or at least until it grows back out.

fashion police.

Acceptable Uses for Leggings:
1. worn under a dress.
2. worn under a skirt.
3. worn under shorts to go running.
4. worn under jeans on cold days.
5. worn instead of shaving your legs that day. (i wont judge)

Unacceptable Uses for Leggings:
1. pants.

i thought we all had this figured way back in the day when BettyJo was mocked for her generous use of spandex in her wardrobe. leggings as pants are not a good idea. they were not designed to function as an outer layer of clothing.

i may not judge you for being too lazy to shave your legs. but i will judge you if you abuse your leggings by showing up to work wearing what is basically an undergarment. i will judge you so hard.

TL;DR Version: leggings are not pants.

hard-working hubs.

so... the hubs started a new job last week.

not in addition to his old job, but in place of his old job.

no, he really wasn't really looking to leave his old job. he liked it there just fine.

no, he did not get fired from his old job. he was approached by an old coworker about a new opportunity to do pretty much the same thing in a different place. he considered it, and prayed about it, and decided that he felt that God was leading him in this direction. he actually left his old job on very good terms. so much so that they let part of his two-weeks-notice be a European vacation.

no, it does not seem to make a lot of sense when you look at the facts. his commute has gone from 20 minutes on a bad day to 60 minutes on a good day. (90 if he hits the beltway during rush hour, and i dont even want to try and factor in accidents and bad weather) the difference in pay will probably just cover the increased amount of gas he will use for the longer commute. a longer commute means that he has to wake up and leave much earlier in the morning, and he will most likely no longer be able to do the grocery shopping for me on his way home from work.

he crashed yesterday after his commute home in the rain took 2 hours.

and yet, he is super excited about his new job, and totally ok- if not completely happy- with all of these things.

yes, this is big news for Mark, and will bring with it some changes and adjustments for our little family. we spent a good portion of last week attempting to work out what some of those changes and adjustments might be. this entailed a lot of early mornings, some delicate bathroom-time-management, a few feelings of separation anxiety, and perhaps one instance of me stumbling outside, half-asleep and sans pants.

so, why wait a week to say anything about all this?

well, because i didnt want to jinx anything by telling people too soon. because i still had to tell y'all everything about our vacation. and because talking on the internet about work if you dont actually work on the internet is a tricky thing. i try not to do it. but when i do, (and i know i do because i currently have 14 posts labeled 'work') i put a lot of thought into what can be shared and what should just stay in my head. because even though none of my bosses know about this blog let alone read it, the last thing that i would want is for anything that i have written here (or anywhere else for that matter) to jeapordize our jobs or reputations or those of anyone close to us.

TL;DR version: Mark got a new job. he likes it.

and i like it because he likes it. sure, i kind of miss having him around in the mornings to push me out of bed on the days when i would rather sleep in, but i am so excited for him and so proud of him for taking on this new opportunity with a calculated mix of both careful consideration and reckless abandon. (time will tell if it turns out to also be wreckless...)

i love you hubs. thanks for letting me talk about you on the internets.

i dont think my coworkers know what to do with me.

in my office, there are these hanging plants that i suppose are strategically placed to make the cubicle world feel less cubicle-ish. they are green and leafy and they're all made out of ticky tacky and they all look just the same.

that is, until i did this to the one that hangs by my desk:

this is by far the best use of $4 and the second half of my lunch hour that i have ever found. so freakin festive! and yes, pink sparkles are in fact the epitome of Christmas festive-ness and are keeping me from slipping into a Christmas funk fueled by a lack of decorations at home coupled with the current weather, which is 60 degrees and rainy.

chance of snow overnight though... fingers crossed.

all the thanks i can manage.

over the past two Novembers, i have noticed a little bit of a pattern, and it goes something like this: i make a concerted effort to have an attitude of gratitude, and then the Universe dishes up a bunch of annoying things to thwart said attitude. last year it was the grocery store, this year it was my commute this morning.

allow me to explain. (and look! i even brought visual aids! bonus points for me!)

for the past few weeks, i have been taking the most straight-forward route to work at the new office. the one with the least amount of turns or backroads or chances for me to get lost, which is also the one with the most traffic. and stop lights. and did i mention all the traffic? so let's call this route the-one-that-takes-longer-than-it-should.

so yesterday, i took a new way to work, thanks to a combination of Google Maps, Gordon, and following the truck in front of me. there was hardly any traffic, and i got to work in under 30 mins. let's call this route the-brand-new-favorite-cause-its-awesome.

so then this morning, i decided to attempt the-brand-new-favorite-cause-its-awesome route without the aid of Google Maps, Gordon, OR the truck in front of me. i was feeling really proud of myself, until i got a little bit lost. i made a wrong turn at some point, and then when i tried to resort to getting help from Gordon i missed a turn when he told me to continue straight when what he really meant to say is 'hey, the road turns here so make sure you turn here to stay on the same road don't just go straight onto that other road' and all of a sudden i was right back around the mid-point of the-route-that-takes-longer-than-it-should. you know, the route i was working really hard to avoid. so instead i just made the-route-that-takes-longer-than-it-should even longer. because i'm just that awesome.

AND THEN! as if that wasn't bad enough... as soon as i got back onto the-route-that-takes-longer-than-it-should, (which i didn't want to be on in the first place) a gray taurus pulled out in front of me. but this wasn't just any gray taurus. no, this one was being driven by one of the most incompetent people i have ever met on the road.

and that, my friends, is the story of how i wound up driving the rest of the way going 15mph UNDER the speed limit, tapping my brakes for EVERY car passing in the other direction and EVERY turn, and ended up being late to work, even though i left plenty early and planned to take the-brand-new-favorite-cause-its-awesome route and miss all the traffic.


11. i am thankful that i have a car to take me to work. because walking those 12 miles would take a heckuva lot longer than even the-route-that-takes-longer-than-it-should does.

not exactly a party animal.

i am officially the most socially-awkward person i have ever met.

no seriously. you should meet me, and then you would know. when i first meet a person, or am in an unfamiliar situation, or in a large group, my default setting is quiet, shy, and just painfully awkward.

case in point: yesterday's monthly party at work. it was the perfect storm of all three of the situations i just mentioned that make me clam up: since i just switched offices a week ago, i'm perpetually meeting new people, the party was on the first floor of the building (i work on the third, and lets face it the entire building is still new to me), and it was a pretty good sized crowd (even though i'm told the parties drew a much bigger crowd before they stopped providing beer) which means that i was the epitome of awkward.

i knew a grand total of 5 people there (the people from my department) and even when i ran into a guy i knew from college, our conversation went something like this:
me: hey, you work here?
him: yeah, you work here too? cool. where do you live?
me: in maryland.
him: i live in york.
me: cool.
us: *awkward silence, smiles, and head nodding*
and then we walked away from each other and didnt talk any more.

i ate a piece of pizza and a brownie. i stood silently as people around me chatted. i listened to people i dont know (and couldnt really see over the cubicle walls, or really hear over the music on the intercom system) announce some company business, read the suggestions from the suggestion box, and give out the employee of the month award. (surprise! not me.) and then i somehow found my way back to my desk to get my stuff and go home. and that was it. i didn't meet any new people. i didnt hold any conversations that lasted more than 2 minutes. i kept my head down and hightailed it out of there at my first opportunity.

i have a feeling its going to take me awhile to make friends around here.

birthday weekend.

this weekend was a prime weekend for celebrating for several reasons:
1. i successfully transferred jobs mid-week despite the most evil sore-throat head-congestion combo known to man
2. Mark worked reallyreally hard this week and just made the deadline for his project submission on Friday (and when i say 'just made' i mean he probably chased the poor UPS woman down the street so she wouldn't leave without his delivery) and
3. the hubs turned 24 on Sunday!

so celebrate we did.

we celebrated the end of our crazy workweeks by going out to dinner on Friday night, and then just chilling out, watching some tv, and working a little bit on our Halloween costumes.

for the rest of the weekend, we celebrated Mark's birthday. We started out with a bang, with a birthday surprise on Saturday morning, in which i took some initiative and kinda sorta forced the man, who since the last tour du bridge (two summers ago!) has been saying he really wants to get a road bike, to finally get a road bike by surprising him with a trip to the bike shop! Mark is in love.

Saturday night, i managed to pull together a pretty sweet birthday party with some of our friends, including decorations and food and dessert and glow sticks and strobe lights and costumes! i couldnt really pick one theme and stick with it, so the party ended up being a Halloween-Birthday-Dance-Rave kind of a hybrid, and i think it went over pretty well with everyone in attendance.

since my real costume for this year (Goldilocks) isnt quite finalized yet, i dressed up as a cowgirl. but Mark got to wear his real costume and spent the evening as Robin Hood - man in tights!

 

it was a great party. trust me, you're really sad you missed it.

then on Sunday, since we love this guy SO much, he got another birthday party with the fam. more good food, more presents, and more time just generally enjoying the company of the people around us. it was basically the perfect weekend of relaxation and partying and just general celebration.

now if you'll excuse me, i have a mountain of dishes and laundry that needs my attention...

last day.

today is my last day at my current job.

surprise!

i havent said anything about it before now, not just because i think that writing about and sharing stories from work for the whole internets to see can open up some proverbial cans of worms that would be best left alone, but also because i'm still not entirely sure just how i feel about it all.

don't worry Mom and Dad and various other family members who keep tabs on me here, i didn't get fired and I am still employed. i just decided to take advantage of an opportunity to transfer to a different department within the same company in a different office that is closer to home. i think i will enjoy the work, and i know i will enjoy the shorter commute that will allow me to sleep in a little longer every morning, but i am still emotionally conflicted here.

as much as i am excited to be able to move on to something new, i am still apprehensive at the same time. because no matter how many times i am told that the people in the new office are nice, i still have a feeling they won't hold a candle to how awesome my coworkers are right now. i have spent the past two years getting to know these people, building relationships, going out to friday lunches, and celebrating birthdays and babies and weddings. i really really like them, as coworkers and just as generally good people, and it is hard to say goodbye to them.

i guess you could say my feelings about the transfer are kind of like a crazy mashup of "Oh, The Places You'll Go" and "Annie Bananie"...

Will you succeed? Yes, you will indeed (98 3/4% guaranteed!)

but you will never, never ever, find a friend group of coworkers that's half as clever, you will never ever find, a friend people who are as good and kind, no you will never, never ever, ever, find another friend job like me.

**updated to add:

Reason #174 that i love these guys - my going away card:

i'mma miss you guys.

craving.

you know what i could go for right now? some M&Ms.

I had this same feeling yesterday afternoon. Yesterday, i put a dollar into the vending machine and hit E5 an watched the M&Ms slowly inch their way forward as quickly as their twirly spiraled cage allowed them to because some kind soul had posted their $0.75 bail.

But apparently the vending machine was feeling vindictive, as though the M&Ms did not deserve to go free, and just as the M&Ms were about to escape, the machine grabbed them and held on.

I left a note on the vending machine that it was holding my M&Ms hostage, but no one returned them to me. and they're not holding on in there anymore.

somebody done stole my M&Ms.

Oh well, they probably were really doing me a favor. I guess i'll just eat my baby carrots instead.