Thursday, October 15, 2015

coworker encounters of the strangest kind...

the following stories are true; i should know, all events have transpired at my place of employment within the past week, and i was somehow involved in them all. the behavior described within these stories is strange. i will leave it up to you to decide which party involved in each story was the strange one.

Encounter #1:
She has decided that, in order to meet new people and get a free workout at the same time, she is going to partake in the after-work fitness classes being offered at her company one night a week. She is at her third class, but is meeting him for the first time - their paths had not previously crossed at any work-related function. He has a giant, nasty and fresh-looking scab on the left side of his face, stretching from his bottom lip to his chin. The following conversation occurs (paraphrased):

She: Hi, I'm She. I work upstairs.
He: Hi, I'm He.
She: What happened to your face?

She is just chock-full of grace and tact. He responds with a lame story of being falling-down-drunk. She suggests that He make up a more interesting story for the future.  She realizes only later that, since she had not previously met him, there was a chance that the thing on his face might not have been a new thing. He might have had a skin condition of some sort, or a permanent birthmark or deformity on his face. She dies a little on the inside just thinking about how rude she had the potential of being. So much for making new friends.

Encounter #2:
She is talking and joking around with her Male Coworker Friend about how he always knows when She is walking over to his desk.

MCF: Maybe you should start walking more quietly.
She: Are you calling me fat?

She justbarely bites her tongue before finishing the rest of that inside-joke-that-MCF-is-not-in-on, which is the definitely inappropriate for coworker conversation, "are you looking down my shirt? stop that!"
She giggles to herself anyway just thinking about it.

Encounter #3:
She is having a conversation with a Female Coworker about the cute shoes she is wearing and where she got them. (because I know you're curious, She is wearing Dr. Scholl's Franca Flats in Rainbow Stripe which She bought at DSW for her birthday two years ago.) A Male Coworker walks by, pausing to join the conversation

FC: i love your shoes - i was looking for similar ones online but they are hard to find.
She: thank you. yeah, i got them a while ago so they're probably not exactly current.
MC: those are really nice shoes. i might need to get some.
She and FC: (gives MC a curious look)
MC: not for me. would you mind if i took a picture of them?
She: sure?

and then he took a picture of my feet.

i can't even think of anything else to add to that story.

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