Thursday, June 26, 2008

dear baby brother.

yes, you DID eat my cookies. don't try to lie to me.

Reasons i know you're lying:
1. I did not eat them.
2. Dad can't eat them.
3. Mom promised she wouldn't eat them. (and i trust her)
4. you left the trash in the pantry.

better luck next time.

i am going to start smoking

it really can only be beneficial. i mean think about it. people who smoke
at work take smoke breaks. people at penndot smoke a LOT. and the only
break they count is a half hour for lunch. BUT if they're smoking a pack a
day at work (thats 20 cigarettes... i had to ask someone that) and it
takes about 5 or 6 minutes to smoke one, thats like 2 hours of time. so
why are they allowed to get paid for smoking? why am i missing out on this
bonus? so i figure if i start smoking a pack a day not only will i fit in
better at work (woot woot peer pressure) but i will also no longer be
constantly looking for something to fill my hours rather than just sit
around doing nothing. OR if theyre going to continue to be paid for the
time they smoke, i might start demanding to be paid for at least an extra
hour every day since i spend all my time working and they use time to
smoke, i figure if i save up all my hypothetical smoking time til the end
of the day thats at least an hour (ill cut it down some cuz i figure i
couldnt smoke a whole pack in 8 hrs even if i wanted to) who cares if my
lungs turn black and fall out? im getting cheated out of my paid smoking
time and i demand to start getting reimbursed for it!

(and the response i got from my best friend...)

i have often wondered why people our age ever started smoking when they
knew how AWFUL it was for you at least older people have an excuse and
now with your lovely argument i am understanding just why you would
think it was a good idea maybe we could start by saying we only smoke
when we drink and then turn it into a 2-3 pack a day habit i have money
to waste and two good lungs i mean why would i need two fully
functioning ones i think half of each will be utterly sufficient ;)

(she SO gets me..)

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

at work

im stuck in the office again today. right now i am out of things to do but there's a meeting going on so i'm pretending that im struggling with the little bit of paperwork they gave me to keep me busy until the meeting is over and i have something else to do. this is how the meeting is going:

Carl: so what are you doing on the 4th of July?
Contractor: eatin' hot dogs.

duh. :)

faux-hawks and side ponys

we are SO doing our hair like this for work tomorrow :)

Friday, June 13, 2008

i found third grade!

there you have it, rescued from a box of stuff that was about to be incinerated: third grade. complete with not only a report card (all A's) but with photographic evidence as well.
you have no idea how big of a deal this is. this is on the order of the best thing since sliced bread kind of a big deal. this is an entire year of my childhood which should have been filled with many fun times and happy memories but was for some reason completely vacant in my mind. somehow in the shuffle of years and millions of memories, all of third grade had disappeared in not only my mind but in the minds of all of my family and any kind of physical form as well. but no longer!
i am proud to present: Miss Simmon's third grade (95-96)

(my apologies to all persons who will most likely be mocked for the existence and public display of this particular picture)

things i did remember about third grade: 1. it was the year my baby brother was born. 2. i did not have Ms Hudson. 3. it was the year Brads mom was killed. 4. he got moved to Ms Hudson's class.

things i have remembered about third grade since finding this picture:
1. most of the names of the kids in my class (some with last names).
2. i was in speech class that year with two of the boys cuz i had a lisp.
3. i absolutely loved that red outfit with the farm animals on it.

things i still have no memory of: Miss Simmons.

Monday, June 9, 2008

grammer lessun.

I am working with PennDOT again this summer. inevitably, this means that i am meeting new and interesting people. this year, instead of being out on a big highway, i am working on a bridge project and a stretch of road that runs through West Kittanning. this means that in addition to building a new bridge and road, i am also constantly dealing with people and business owners who are upset at the roadwork that is taking place. Saturday was especially bad. I had one man come up to me who was just looking for someone at whom he could whine about the flaggers and how inefficient traffic control was running at that particular moment. he said to me (and i quote as best as i can remember) "that one flagger was just so indignant. i am surprised he can even feed himself."
whoah. hold up. i think we have a bigger issue at hand here than an upset flagger. lets check out these definitions:

in·dig·nant [in-dig-nuh nt] (adjective)
feeling, characterized by, or expressing strong displeasure at something considered unjust, offensive, insulting, or base

ig·no·rant [ig-ner-uh nt] (adjective)
lacking in knowledge or training; unlearned: an ignorant man.

it is very believable that the flagger was indeed being indignant. they were having a bad day. however, that would have no effect on his ability to feed himself. i think this particular complainer was in fact more ignorant than the "indignant" flagger he was complaining about. i'm surprised he could even feed himself.