i am going to start smoking

it really can only be beneficial. i mean think about it. people who smoke
at work take smoke breaks. people at penndot smoke a LOT. and the only
break they count is a half hour for lunch. BUT if they're smoking a pack a
day at work (thats 20 cigarettes... i had to ask someone that) and it
takes about 5 or 6 minutes to smoke one, thats like 2 hours of time. so
why are they allowed to get paid for smoking? why am i missing out on this
bonus? so i figure if i start smoking a pack a day not only will i fit in
better at work (woot woot peer pressure) but i will also no longer be
constantly looking for something to fill my hours rather than just sit
around doing nothing. OR if theyre going to continue to be paid for the
time they smoke, i might start demanding to be paid for at least an extra
hour every day since i spend all my time working and they use time to
smoke, i figure if i save up all my hypothetical smoking time til the end
of the day thats at least an hour (ill cut it down some cuz i figure i
couldnt smoke a whole pack in 8 hrs even if i wanted to) who cares if my
lungs turn black and fall out? im getting cheated out of my paid smoking
time and i demand to start getting reimbursed for it!

(and the response i got from my best friend...)

I WANT TO SMOKE TOO
i have often wondered why people our age ever started smoking when they
knew how AWFUL it was for you at least older people have an excuse and
now with your lovely argument i am understanding just why you would
think it was a good idea maybe we could start by saying we only smoke
when we drink and then turn it into a 2-3 pack a day habit i have money
to waste and two good lungs i mean why would i need two fully
functioning ones i think half of each will be utterly sufficient ;)

(she SO gets me..)