Thursday, May 27, 2010

time flies.

as i typed  the title for this post, my mind wandered to visions of little insects wearing leather jackets and sunglasses with clocks on their backs like a backpack and video cameras in their eyes that are capable of time travel because they are small enough to slip between the folds of the time-space continuum and bring back valuable information to us humans who are incapable of time traveling ourselves.

but i digress.

it has been over a year since i graduated college. over 8 months since i started my job. over two months since i got engaged. and just over 4 months til i will be a married woman.

i started to wonder to myself - "where has the time gone?" and then mid-wonder i stopped myself as i realized it has gone by in a monotonous blur of morning commutes, grocery shopping, laundry, dishes, casual fridays, tv shows, etc. (please note i did not include vacuuming, dusting, or cleaning the bathroom! these are reserved for special occasions and do not occur often enough to be included in the monotony)

its kind of depressing if you think about it. i keep living for the future: always looking forward to graduation, or getting a job, or getting married, or Friday, or knowing HOW to do my job, or going on vacation, or finding a place to live, and on and on and on and where does it leave me? at the end of a year full of landmark events, both personal and historical, wondering where my time went. and where i really dont want to end up is at the end of my life, on my deathbed, and never have truly embraced the here and now, reveling in the small joys of every day rather than being dragged down in the monotony.

i found a gray hair the other day. i did like my mother taught me and pulled it out and forgot it was ever there. i dont want to admit that i'm growing up. that time keeps passing. that eventually i will be a wife and a mother and an engineer and really be responsible for something and someone other than myself.

buckle up. brace for impact. its coming fast.

1 comment:

Miss Brenda said...

We have little bugs like that here, but they bite.