Tuesday, September 27, 2011

how to make the most amazing birthday cake ever.

a little while back, i mentioned my pinterest-inspired art project and how it turned out. this weekend, it was my sister's turn to attempt something that she had pinned for my niece's 4th birthday: the cake. it was quite an adventure, and we think it is only fair to everybody else who has pinned this cake that we share our experience of attempting it.   

8:00 pm - put the kids to bed. it's time to get your bake on! you have inspiration and a recipe and are ready to knock this thing out!

8:35 pm - realize that your organic from-scratch cake batter is looking more like cookie dough. this may not have been the best time to try a new recipe.

8:37 pm - consult with sister as to the best course of action.

8:38 pm - shrug, add some more milk, and carry on.

8:43 pm - gather every large vessel you own. split batter into 6 equal parts to dye all the colors of the rainbow with food coloring gel (except for indigo, because is that really even a color anymore?)

8:54 pm - abandon all now-dirtied large pots in favor of dirtying all the cereal bowls instead.

9:15 pm - put first four layers into parchment lined pans. cross your fingers and close the oven.

9:21 pm - ignore hubs inquiry as to whether or not he smells fire.

9:30 pm - confirm that something was indeed burning. but at least it wasn't the cake! make a mental note to trim the parchment paper to fit the pans next time... 

9:32 pm - express disbelief that this is really how your awesome cake is turning out. 

9:45 pm - try to determine how to proceed from this point. does a birthday party really NEED a cake?

10:05 pm - do not even bother to attempt to bake the final two layers. just trash it all. curse pinterest for putting this idea in your head.

10:14 pm - head to the grocery store.

10:22 pm - semi-seriously consider just buying a generic grocery store birthday cake.

10:23 pm - pick up boxed cake mixes and two cans of white buttercream icing. ready for round two.

10:45 pm - mix up cake batter in no time flat.

10:58 pm - use two cake mixes to make six layers of multi-colored cake. bake in oiled-and-floured pans in lieu of messing with parchment. they all turn out great.

11:45 pm - use both cans of icing to stack and dirty ice the cake. make a mental note to get more icing before the party.

12: 10 am - put cake in fridge for the night. vow to clean up the kitchen in the morning.

12:13 am - go to bed.

1:12 am - wake up, confused to hear a soothing woman's voice crooning something about BEEP BEEP BEEP CARBON MONOXIDE BEEP BEEP BEEP

1:13 am - turn off the detector. contemplate just going back to sleep.

1:14 am - figure it's probably in your best interest to call the fire department instead.

1:17 am - two firetrucks bearing some of New York's finest arrive. they inspect the house, and take readings to determine the source of the elevated CO levels.

1:23 am - the source is determined to be the oven. apparently extended baking with all the windows shut will elevate levels just enough to trip the alarm. stupid cake.

1:24 am - realize the disastrous state of your kitchen while the firemen wander about your house. kind of regret decision to clean up in the morning.

1:25 am - open all the windows and wait for CO levels to normalize. 

2:03 am - firefighters leave, looking a little disappointed that they didn't get to rip down any walls or anything.

2:05 am - go back to bed.

6:28 am - the kids wake up, because they somehow managed to sleep through all the midnight excitement.

11:45 am - husbands return from their morning excursions (on which they took the car with the carseats and ALL THE KEYS) with two more cans of icing, among other things.

12:03 pm - use another can and a half of icing to cover the cake. (that's three and a half total, if you're counting.) decorate with skittles, a detail you added yourself to give the cake more flair.

2:32 pm - light the candles. sing happy birthday. 

2:33 pm - the birthday girl makes a wish, and blows out the candles.

2:35 pm - cut the cake. jumping up and down while shrieking "ohmygosh it looks so great!" is entirely optional and might get you some wierd looks from other partygoers, but it's also completely appropriate behavior. honest.

2:37 pm - serve to the birthday girl with pride and ENJOY!

so the moral of this cake story is that it can be done, but you might want to have a backup plan. and plenty of icing. and a few hours to kill. and some firefighters on speed dial, just in case. 

so now that you know just how exciting a pinterest project can be, who's next?


Miss Brenda said...

Awesome cake. And a great story. Sometimes you get a good time and a good story all in one. Love that you included the NYPD. Nice touch.

Abi said...

A completely true depiction of our adventure... Thanks for being there Ami!