just dont even ask.

it all started with termites.

i first noticed a steadily growing hole in the floor near our sliding glass door. this was very curious. what could be causing our floor to just disintegrate like that? so i went outside to investigate.

as i was crouched down inspecting the foundation of our house just outside the door, Mark came up behind me to see what i was looking at. so i pointed out the horrific sight of what had once been a major supporting timber of the house but was now looking more like a bunch of toothpicks. he reached to stick his hand through the beam, but i stopped him, as i had just sighted the culprit. the termites. we had a live infestation on our hands.

by the by, termites are creepy and ugly.

mark seemed surprisingly unconcerned about this whole nasty turn of events. when i asked him why he wasnt worried about the structural integrity of our house and the fact that we were going to have to rip down our whole deck, he pointed out that it was not our house. and he was right. it was one of the cabins at a church camp.

i went inside the cabin to warn everyone that they should probably evacuate the premises before the entire building collapsed because of the extensive termite damage. but no one would listen to me. the entire youth group was too busy having a birthday party, and they insisted i take a group picture for them.

i stood on a rocking chair to get a better angle, but commented that the lighting inside the cabin was terrible. so one of the girls helpfully started lighting the decorations on fire to provide more light. i asked her if that was a safe plan, but she assured me that since everything was plastic, the fire would burn slowly. it took a couple tries to get a picture that wasnt blurry, thanks to the combination of the low light (which got better as the flames grew) and the fact that i was standing on a rocking chair.

after the kids were satisfied with the picture quality, i walked outside to check on the state of the termites i had just remembered, when i stumbled across the youth pastor attempting to seduce his wife by performing some sort of intricate dance involving a lot of outfit changes. it didnt appear to be working, so i moved on just as my boss walked up to my cubicle and asked if i had a minute to talk about something. so i followed him around the corner into his office.

just as he was about to tell me why he wanted to talk to me, my husband lovingly shook me and told me it was time to wake up and get ready for the day. he claimed to know nothing about our house being eaten by termites, so i'm 95% sure it was all just a dream and i wont have to tear down the deck anytime soon.

my brain is a strange place to live.