an even number.

today is the last day in february. in case you didnt know. so i feel the need to post one last time this month, to make my total number of posts in february an even number. im wierd i know.
unfortunately i dont think i have much to say. this week and next week are pretty crazy: we have a bridge to finish building, i have tests in three of my four classes, papers in all four, a project and lab report in one, and a job to find.
i just have to make it through one more week, and then i get to go to Florida for the great sister week'end' :) i am sad that abi cant come, but we're looking forward to the surprise she's sending us (even if its not claire) mostly i cant wait to sleep in without feeling guilty, lay by the pool, and jus generally chill out for a couple days. i still have to figure out what im doing for the rest of break. i have like three diff options, but it depends on whose car gets to make the trip with us; Gretchen or the CRV.
i know that God is Good (all the time!) and that i'm fine and everything will work out in the end.
two months down, twoandahalf til graduation!!!

i wish i could write like my mother.

and/or i wish my mother could write my paper. if that were the case, then i wouldnt have to write it, and this paper would be done. not only that, but it would even be fun to read as it rambled around its own thoughts, making meaningful (sometimes kind of random) observations, then tying them all together in the end to make a deeply profound conclusion about God or life or the world in general or some combination of the three. it would make you laugh, or cry, or think critically about something. anything. she would find joy in the challenge of having nine different opinions to summarize in 900 words or less. she wouldnt be so easily distracted by the sunshine and her friends playing frisbee outside (ok maybe i do get my love of sunshine and propensity for distraction from her a lil bit) but eventually, she would write the stupid paper. she would make the best of it. she would have something to say. it would be something good.

i've got nothin.

this makes sense to you.

if you are looking to learn how to toss pizza dough, check out Tony Gemignani on youtube. he gives pretty good instructions, and is so certain of his teaching that he evn goes so far as to assure you that "this makes sense to you." what does he think he is some kind of jedi waving his hand around like that? i'm a college student who's approaching midterms. mind tricks dont work on me.
good thing i didnt try to toss the dough. it would have ended up on the floor.

dearest darlingest mum-sy and pop-sicle...

just in case you were wondering about my chances of graduating in May...

I go to class.
I do my homework.
I am in fact a skilled metalworker :)

See? i'm a good girl i am. the trip back to PA in May will be well worth it i promise. dont cancel your plane tickets just yet.

two-fistin'

Some people just can't handle the crazy emotions that accompany V-Day. Some deal with them better than others.

ps the one looking at me like im absolutely "crazy, ridiculous, and completely irrational" is Mark.

update on the boy(friend!).

Valentines Day 2009 was a whole weekend of celebration. this is a big deal cuz if you read my blog on a regular basis you probably know me pretty well and its no secret that valentine's day isnt exactly my favorite holiday. in my opinion its nothing more than a hallmark holiday invented to make boys buy more presents for girls and make money for cheesy card companies. in the past i have protested by wearing black and being an obnoxiously anti-valentine advocate for single's awareness day. believe it or not ive toned down a lot since then.
the party started on Friday with 114 roommate date night at Applebee's. good dinner and pretty colored drinks in fun glasses :) so on Saturday we decided it would be too much hassle to actually go out and rub elbows with all the cheesy vomit-inducing lovey dovey couples (and none of us felt like it two days in a row) so we just had dinner in. Mark came and joined us and we made lasagna and corn and applesauce and (nonalcoholic) frozen strawberry margaritas, and then we watched singin in the rain. a good time was had by all.
after the movie, Mark and i sat around talking, and he gave me my surprise present (which was a page-long poem that made me smile) and then he asked me (again) if i knew where we stood. so instead of saying something remotely sabatoging this time like "i dont know" i decided to answer his question with a question so i asked him what he would like us to be and he said that he would like to call me his girlfriend and i told him that i would like that :)
it made me even more happy that all of this happened after midnight so technically it wasnt valentines day anymore :) i guess a little bit of the rebel in me lives on lol.

study break.

because sometimes, you just can't be serious any longer.
gotta love self timers on cameras :)

my life in a Gilmore Girls quote.

Lorelai: You really like him, don't you?
Rory: [troubled] Yeah!
Lorelai: Well, okay then. Just calm down.
Rory: I just don't want to do or say anything else that's gonna be remotely moronic.
Lorelai: I'm afraid once your heart is involved, it all comes out in Moron.

great big thanks to my Mom and Sister for being greatly encouraging to me in my moronic endeavors of the past week or so. sorry that all my recent posts have been about boy, but its the most exciting thing happening in my life right now. if you would rather i tell you all about my poli sci paper or my concrete homework i could oblige but i have a feeling you would all stop reading my blog forever. and that would be sad.

the plan. a/o i'm a jerk.

so the plan was ice skating. that is, until i decided for some reason after we already drove there and saw the mass amounts of middle and high school kids that i wouldnt have fun ice skating. i like ice skating really i do, but all of a sudden i heard myself saying 'i'll do this if you want but i wont really have fun.' who says stuff like that??? it was a perfectly good plan. and then my stupid mouth had to make up a dumb lie that middle school boys freak me out. what is wrong with me? do i want to sabatoge this? is that what im trying to do here? i like this kid. i like him even more cuz he doesn't hate me for bein a dumb jerk about ice skating. he made me stop saying i was a jerk, and at one point mandated (mostly joking) that i even stop thinking it.
we ended up borrowing a movie from his roommate (Shaun of the Dead. gross fake zombie movie) and watching it in my apt. he reassured me multiple times that he didnt care what we did, and that he wasnt upset about not ice skating, and he didnt even think i was ridiculously crazy. (although he did admit he liked the fact that the gross parts made me bury my head in his shoulder.) in fact, after explaining that he thinks things through for a long time before he acts on anything and that he's not a rash decision maker, he asked if we were at the point that we should change our facebook statuses (lol). and what do i say? in true indecisive sabatoge fashion i (queen of bad answers) say 'i dont know. you should know that im terrified of commitment and ive never been really good with the whole relationship thing... but i like you.' again - who says stuff like that???? so i avoided answering the question at hand in the most retarded way possible. and yet, he still likes me. we sat on the couch and talked after the movie ended, and when he had to leave he gave me a hug gnight and kissed my forehead.
why would i want to ruin such a sweet thing? do i not deserve to be happy and jus dont realize it? usually it takes a lil longer for the fact that im a complete mess to be made public knowledge. but this kid hasn't been scared away yet. and trust me, i'm not consciously trying to drive him away, but apparantly something in my subconscious is out to get me. maybe im a little scared of screwing this up, but that is no reason for me to (subconsciously or otherwise) sabatoge somethign this good.

details details.

so apparently people would like to know particulars about the aforementioned date of last weekend, more than just knowing that i went on one. Well it all started on Wednesday, when a boy asked me if he could ask me on a date sometime... kind of like having insurance that i would say yes if he actually asked. it seemed like the long way around to me, but made me smile anyway :) Then on Friday, (same) boy asked if he could take me out on a date sometime that weekend. Since Friday night was already planned as 114 roommate date night, plans were made for Saturday. I dressed up as much as i dared without running the risk of being overdressed, and he picked me up at my door. He cleaned off my car for me, and after his two roommates helped him push Gretchen out of the icy mess that was the parking lot, we were on our way. We went to see Mall Cop (hilarious) and then after we stopped for gas (that he pumped for me) we went to EatnPark instead of Applebees cuz he had never been to EatnPark. silly Marylanders. we ate dinner, had grilled stickies a la mode (boom!) for dessert (another first for him) then jus sat and talked into the wee hours of the morning. gotta love that they're open 24 hours :) He drove home, walked me to the door of my building (cuz it was too late for him to be inside) and gave me a hug g'night.
we're goin out again tonight :) i would give you the details, but he's refusing to tell me the plan ahead of time. all i know is that i'm supposed to dress kind of warm and be ready to go around 745. i'm kind of excited. it should be fun :) i'll let you know how it goes.

its everywhere.

i've been reading a book. for fun. don't ask me where i have been finding time to do this, i really dont know but i really like the book. its The Shack by William P. Young. i'm only about halfway through it now, but i only started it about three hours ago :)
what i had to share was yet another intance of cloy being used outside of my family: its a more sad context, but its there nonetheless.

"Other times he would dream that his feet were stuck in cloying mud, as he caught breif glimpses of Missy running down the wooded path ahead of him, her red cotton summer dress gilded with wildflowers flashing among the trees."

the first time i have personally seen the word cloy used outside of the hymnal.
but seriously, read this book.

happy february.

Things i did this weekend:
- Learned how to weld. complete with funny hat/mask and everything. its oddly empowering. i like it.
- Broke into a boy's room and stole a coffee pot. Now before you think i have finally snapped, dropped out of school, and fallen into a life of petty crimes know this: we had the room code AND permission. but thats not nearly as exciting.
- Bruised my butt escaping from the scene of the crime. Actually more of my upper thigh, but still. it was embarrassing and it hurt. i would post a pic except for its mildly inappropriate.

- Made black and gold jello AND a cake shaped like a football. impressive, i know :)
- Went on a date. :D
- Had grilled stickies at EatnPark with a grilled stickies virgin.
- Celebrated Pittsburgh's SIXTH Super Bowl victory!!!
- Punched a treadmill. not on purpose. there was blood and everything. ok so maybe that was this morning, but a good story.