a song for you this christmas.

**to the tune of "Nuttin' for Christmas"**

you're gettin' nuttin' for Christmas,

me and my husband are mad.

we can buy nuttin' for Christmas,

'cause cars are expensive and sad.

the tires on my car are dead -

that's a lot of money.

i'd rather buy presents instead -

but winter roads are slippy.

i'd like to buy you all nice things -

fast sports cars and diamond rings -

but how about some water wings,

or samples i got for free?

OH you're gettin' nuttin' for Christmas,

me and my husband are mad.

we can buy nuttin' for Christmas,

'cause cars are expensive and sad.

mark got new tires on his car too -

woot! even more money!

then he nearly hit a stopping queue,

which is really not funny.

he almost smashed up his car's hood -

side mirror lost swerving into the woods* -

at least we know his brakes are good -

so we'll fix that too, honey.

 

SO you're gettin' nuttin' for Christmas,

we hope that you aren't really mad.

we're buyin' you nuttin' for Christmas,

'cause our cars are expensive and sad.

 

(ok so maybe this isnt all entirely true. yes, we've had to put new tires on both our cars and Mark did knock off his side mirror avoiding a rear-end collision, but we are still giving Christmas presents this year. just dont hold your breath for that fancy fur hat you love, or be disappointed that we didnt get you a new iPhone7.)

*it was actually a wooden sign post, but i took a little artistic license with the story for the sake of rhyming.