Amidala: when he has a bad day.

you know it's bad when:
     you have to leave in ten minutes, and he is still in bed even though you have been informing him of the time for the past half an hour. you know it takes him at least fifteen minutes to get ready. this is not a good start to the day.
how to make it worse:
     let him know that you are annoyed. passive-aggressively (but mostly aggressively) inform him that you are not going to play this game today and he needs to get out of bed right now. sigh and stomp around as he tells you not to yell at him and stays in bed another five minutes.
how to make it better:
     instead of being mad that he is going to make you late, do whatever you can to help him to speed up his morning. make his protein shake for him. grab a granola bar for him to eat in the car. apologize for getting upset earlier. tell him you love him.

you know it's bad when:
     he gets discouraged just thinking about thinking about making a decision about what to do about financial planning, retirement savings, life insurance, budgeting, etc.
how to make it worse:
     remind him that he has had the past two-plus weeks to think about this, so why did he put it off until the last moment possible? in fact, why does he put everything off until the last possible moment? doesnt he know how stressed out this makes you? (i didnt say this, but i did think it)
how to make it better:
     offer to update the budget, which you have been meaning to do all month anyway. that way, at least the first step is done and he will have a better base point to work from. tell him you love him.

you know it's bad when:
      he is getting visibly and physically frustrated with attempting to take the christmas tree out of its base.
how to make it worse:
      jump in to help. when he snaps at you, snap right back. backhandedly offer to clean out the base to put it away. end up covered in sap, bleeding, and ugly crying at yourself in the bathroom mirror.
how to make it better:
      i dont really know. i didnt do so hot with this one. it was just bad all around.

you know it's bad when:
     he said he was going to take a nap, but instead has been puttering around the house all day working on little projects in a big sigh-y funk.
how to make it worse:
     once he takes your not-so-subtle hint that a nap might actually be a good idea, (tip: say something like "why dont you just take a stupid nap already" in your most obnoxious voice) be annoyed that he is napping. decide to make as much noise as possible in and around the room that he decided to nap in, just to let him know you are annoyed.
how to make it better:
     the laundry can wait. you didnt really need to slam those books onto their shelf. and the vaccuum? really? stop making so much unneccesary noise. offer to turn off the lights for a more nap-friendly environment. pick a quiet activity to do for the next half an hour or so until he wakes up.

you know it's bad when:
     you go out to dinner (his suggestion) and he just sits silently across the table from you.
how to make it worse:
     ask him a string of random questions in an effort to spark a conversation. be sure to include "whatcha thinking?" "are you ok?" and "how's your dinner?" be disappointed in the one-word answers that are provided.
how to make it better:
     tell him to ask you a question. do not freak out when he busts out a big-deal question instead of the 'whats your favorite color'-type question you were anticipating. answer honestly. ask him a related question. be amazed at the quality conversation that ensues.

i dont really know why i feel the need to share this story. it was a really ugly day at our house - not exactly something that i'm proud of. then again, maybe thats exactly why i feel like sharing it. because we are far from perfect. and yet, here we are. two imperfect sinners brought together by the grace of God to navigate this life as a team. and sometimes bad days just happen and there's nothing you can do to avoid them completely. blame it on hormones, or stress, or the phase of the moon, but the truth is that without God all our days would be this bad or worse.

the tail end of the full moon that turned my hubs into a werewolf.

there is no fool-proof ten-step program to successfully dealing with days like these. but thankfully, God gives us grace upon grace when we are less than graceful. and also: beautiful, brand new ,blank-slate mornings.