Thursday, January 15, 2015

non-resolution redux.

so. apparently we're already half-way through January.
Happy New Year, y'all!

according to popular conventions, by this point in the year i should have already done a sweeping, overarching review of 2014, committed to several large goals for the year to come, and probably already failed half of them. but i have done none of that. instead, i am spending this week frantically finishing all of the Christmas presents that i put off crafting until the very last minute in preparation for a giant Christmas/Birthday extravaganza with my whole extended family this weekend.  so while i have managed to extend the holiday spirit long past most of the rest of the world, i have not transitioned into the new year mindset quite yet.

BUT since I have a ton of different and exciting things rattling around in my brain that i dont want to not share, here is my best attempt at thinking through some things i would like to do and accomplish and be in the upcoming year (which is already 4% over. way to be ahead of the game, Mando.)

first of all, my goals for this past year; 14 for '14 and one to grow on:
(my comments in italics)

1. curtains. well, we had curtains made for the front room and dining room. they turned out to be all different lengths and i kind of hated them. and now we're rearranging all the windows so they'll probably end up being useless, but at least they happened. half-win on this one.
2. read at least 3 non-fiction books. read one for sure. finished a couple fiction books too. most recently started The Story and am on Chapter 6 i think. half-win on this one.
3. have pretty flowerbeds. Mark did get rid of the ugly tree on the front corner of the house, but left that bed full of weeds. he also tore up the side bed by the driveway during the great downspout extravaganza of 2014 but we haven't re-mulched it yet. i planted zero things. fail.
4. budget. haven't quite found a plan that has stuck long-term yet. but we're not broke so, win!
5. ride my bike. twice, i think. win!
6. read through my Bible. i recently started reading The Story. kind of like the Bible, abridged. half-win.
7. close my other bank account. not this year. this is just pathetic. fail.
8. big book of everything. good in theory, but never quite got it started. fail
10. overcome my fear of the lawnmower.  helped mow the grass once. that's about it. fail.
11. run. bought new shoes. decided running probably just isn't for me. counting it as a half-win.
12. sew a cushion for the entryway bench. still currently sitting 3/4 of the way done in the basement. have spent the past 6 months trying to work up the energy to finish the stupid thing. half-win.
13. get the air ducts cleaned. UGH. stupid air duct guy never showed up for our appointment. so i gave up and decided it wasn't that important to me. fail.
14. yoga. bought a new yoga DVD. did it twice. win?
15. start the kitchen renovation. of all the things on this list that i figured wouldn't happen this year, this is the one we actually did! cabinets and appliances are ordered, demolition is pretty much done, and rebuilding has already started. if all goes well, we should have a brand new space by spring! win!

well, that's a whopping 7.5 out of 15. this is my least favorite thing about goals: looking back on them and realizing how hard i failed at some of the simplest things. i did some BIG things this year professionally and house-wise that i am proud of, so why does having un-done things on my list get me so down? why set goals at all if not accomplishing them just makes me sad? padding my yearly list with fluff isn't going to do me any favors, but seriously - where is the balance between stretching yourself and setting yourself up for disappointment?

and yet, i still see the value in setting goals, and starting a new year fresh. everything is so full of possibility at the beginning of a whole new year, (or 96% of a new year in this case)  and i really do want each year to be the best year yet. i'm pretty sure the point of goal-setting to stretch your own boundaries and inspire personal growth, so i'm not giving up on the whole thing just yet.

in 2015, i would like to...

...finish the kitchen renovation with sanity and grace. this is big and exciting and a huge blessing. i want to keep that in mind rather than just freaking out over all the details.
...feel good in my skin. whether i lose some weight, clear up my face, grow my hair out, or just shift my personal perception of myself, i just want to feel better.
...focus on intentionally healthy choices: walk. eat salads. less sugar-bomb snacks. more jazzercise. more organized. this includes previous years goals of closing my extraneous bank account, starting the big book of everything, budgeting, finishing up some half-done projecs, and hopefully just generally feeling more like a responsible adult. parties. i'm going to have such a nice new kitchen, it would be a shame not to share it with people i love.
...spend time outside. sunshine is the best. and not much beats that wonderful exhausted feeling after a long day spent working or playing outside. i'd like to do more of that this year.
...get pregnant. this is something i dont really talk about much, because it is extremely personal and because i dont want anyone asking me "how's it going? *winkwinknudgegiggle*" ugh. awkward. no thanks. so why put it on the list? because i've been pretty singularly focused on it for the past 10 months but haven't let myself talk about it much, and it just feels good to put it in writing.
...take pictures. because i want to be able to look back someday and remember my everyday life, along with the big events.
...go to the beach. i just love it.
...have fun. smile. laugh. relax. be silly. just fun.

so there. i feel good about this list. it's probably not all-inclusive of everything that this year will bring, and of course is completely subject to change because who knows what God has planned for us, and i will still likely feel like i have failed at a lot of it come this time next year because that's just how i do. but if i manage to cross off even just a couple things on this list, i think i will feel good about that.

here we go. headlong into the remaining 96% of the year. let's do this.

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