a weird post for a weird week.

this week has been... kind of melancholy. mornings are foggy. evenings are rainy. everything is gray. including my mood. i fluctuate between feeling content and relaxed, and then suddenly and without warning collapsing into a sniveling puddle of feeling like a lazy bum of a failure at life.  

 

rain through my windshield 

last night i pulled into the driveway after jazzercise, and i just stayed in the car. for five minutes i sat there watching the thunderstorm blow rain in sheets across the windshield of the car and light up the sky with lightning. and it just made me inexplicably, weirdly happy. so i spent the next fifteen minutes trying to capture that moment; the feeling of it, the look of it, and the way it spoke to me in that place. and of course all of those things are ridiculously difficult to capture through the confines of a camera lens, no matter how many pictures you take.

 accidental flash - need to clean the windshield

it appeared as if the whole world (or at least my backyard) was an intricate chalk drawing, being washed away by the storm. running in little technicolor rivers down the driveway. just like Bert's marvelously magical chalk drawings in Mary Poppins, i expected the view outside my windshield to disappear, an innocent casualty of the unrelenting downpour.

playing with my camera effects

 

it was a surreal feeling: sitting in my car, watching the rain pour down, refreshing the earth and cooling the air to a more reasonable temperature, the running water disorting the typically crisp-edged world around me. but it never really washed away. the trees and the grass and that ridiculous basketball hoop continued to stand there under the deluge. the crispness was still there underneath it all; it was just my perception of it that was changed.

like chalk in the rain

i dont know that there is a point to any of this rambling. but it feels good to put it out there. to admit that everything isnt always sunshine and rainbows. but also to remind myself that eventually, every storm runs out of rain and (at least most of the time) everything will turn out A-OK on the other side.