Monday, October 10, 2011

beyond comprehension.

if ever asked, i would say without a doubt that my wedding day, a year and a week ago, was the best day of my life. i don't think i stopped smiling all day. i felt as though nothing could go wrong. i never felt the chill in the air. my immense joy made me untouchable, and my feeling of joy-fueled invincibility lasted for at least a week.

conversely, if ever asked, i would probably say that the day my Gramma Rita passed away, almost two years ago, was the worst. despite the fact that i knew she was no longer in pain and that i would see her again in heaven, the pain of my loss overshadowed the joy that was brought by that knowledge. i was not ready to lose her. i wanted her to be at my wedding, and get to meet my babies, and keep being my Gramma. but the cancer made her a shadow of herself, and then she was just gone. it was so final, and the intense grief hung around for a long while.

mountains and valleys.

on Saturday evening, the hubs and I had the pleasure of witnessing the joy of a couple who shared an obvious love for one another and also for God be joined in marriage. we shared their joy, celebrated their union, and sang and danced the night away. toasts were given. cake was smashed in faces. laughter was plentiful. and at one point, a slow motion chicken dance happened, Zooey Deschanel style. (anyone else out there watching The New Girl?) it was a great evening, and we felt blessed to be a part of it.

this morning, i learned that on Saturday evening, the wife and preborn daughter of one of the hub's college roommates were killed in a head-on collision in Georgia. i didn't want to believe it. i still haven't quite let it sink in. we had celebrated their wedding with them just a few short months ago. we wished them the very best and looked forward to all that God would do in them and through them, and we prayed that they would share many years together. but it is painfully real. the brevity of their marriage, and of hers and their child's lives. and it absolutely breaks my heart.

i guess the mountains and valleys have to meet somewhere.

the juxtaposition of the mountaintop joy and deepest valley of loss, both simultaneous and yet separated by time and space, is difficult to swallow. as one family is created and celebrated, another young family is devastated, torn apart, and mourned. i cannot begin to comprehend the meaning behind it all, or the divine plans and purposes that are served. instead, i pray for peace. for healing. for daily reminders of the inherent goodness of our God. i pray for love and joy to be continued, and also restored.

because the valley won't go on forever. Psalm 23:4

1 comment:

Miss Brenda said...

Crying and praying with you this morning. Love you.