the nose knows.

i swear, i did not used to have allergies. growing up, i was that typically tomboyish kid who was constantly outside. (mostly at my mom's insistence i think) i loved getting dirty, climbing trees, and doing really anything that allowed me to run around like crazy - whether it was football, baseball, foxtail, freezetag, or any number of made-up activities our little imaginations could muster. and call me crazy, but rolling around in freshly cut grass was one of my most favorite pasttimes. and as i remember it, never once did any of this cause so much as a sneeze out of me.

and then i grew up and went away to college.

my first spring at Geneva hit me hard. at first it was just a bit of a stuffy nose as i walked around the rather lovely landscaped campus, and i wrote it off as nothing. maybe i was coming down with a little cold. but i realized that i had all of a sudden developed allergies one sunny afternoon as i was stuck inside studying for some sort of test or whatnot with some friends in the lounge, and not having much fun with it. because really, who actually wants to study when they could be out playing on a lovely sunny afternoon? one friend (who would later come to be known as my Best Friend In The World) (we shall refer to her as 'Julie') decided to brighten my day by bringing me a very lovely flower.

(this is not that flower. but isnt it pretty?)

seriously guys, it was the most gorgeous flower ever. and it smelled absolutely delicious. i wish i really did have a picture of it. because then i could remember it forever probably figure out what the heck kind of evil violent-allergy-inducing face-swelling eye-watering throat-closing monster was hiding within that beautiful exterior. it took me a while to realize that my entire face was in the process of swelling shut, and a little longer to realize that this horrible unprecedented event was being caused by the beautiful flower that i was happily waving all around my face, inhaling deeply of its fantastic fragrance.

once the truth of the situation dawned on me, it was a miserable time of recovery as the flower was trashed, benadryl was taken, and all i could do was brood on the unfairness of developing allergies to beautiful flowers during my freshman year of college while i waited for my face to return to its normal state. meanwhile, Julie went to find the bush from which she had plucked said flower-of-disaster so we could make a point to avoid it in the future, only to find that the bush was no longer there! in the short span of time between when she picked me the flower and when it almost killed me, the source of said flower had vanished said Julie.

and now, i have about a two-week stretch every spring during which i am a hot allergic mess. my eyes water, my nose stuffs up, and my whole head feels kind of floaty. an 'allergy fog' i think is the technical term. also, grass clippings cause me to break out in little red itchy bumps and this year i also have a mystery non-itchy rash-type-thing on my elbows kind of like my sister gets when she eats oranges. curse you beautiful mystery vanishing flower of doom for opening the floodgates of seasonal allergies onto my previously unallergic non-allergic allergy-free self! (dude. according to thesaurus.com there are no antonyms for the word allergic!) (also, the longer i look at it, the less like a word it looks)

i hope your nose treats you all well this allergy season. keep your tissues close, and stay far away from secret-mystery-vanishing-flowers-of-doom!

p.s. I Love You

(Note: we didn't quite make it a full week with that whole TV-Turn-Off thing, as we spent the majority of the day on Sunday watching baseball and movies. i have no regrets)

for the past few years, i have either been 1) a poor college student, 2) planning a wedding, or 3) buying a house, none of which are extremely conducive to keeping up-to-speed with movies in theaters (unless they are deemed worthy, aka Despicable Me, Toy Story, and/or Harry Potter... so what if i have the cinematic taste of a 12-year-old?) but as a result i have at least 4 years worth of backlog of "movies that i really wanted to see when they first came out but was too cheap to see in theaters but then forgot about once they stopped showing the trailers on tv"

thank goodness for Netflix.

i was reminded that i wanted to see this movie thanks to a reccommendation based on movies i had recently seen (including but not limited to Sweeney Todd, Breakfast Club, Tangled, and Beauty and the Beast) and was really excited to watch it. i hadnt heard many reviews and/or other peoples opinions of it, and i definitely didnt take the time to look up what it was about. it was a chick flick. thats all i needed to know. right?

wrong. i should have been forewarned. and you deserve to know. so i will tell you.

THIS IS A SAD SAD MOVIE.

it starts out innocently enough, with a fairly accurate portrayal of a young married couple's argument and reconciliation about mothers-in-law, babies, and money that is just so spot on you cant help but giggle. and then the credits roll.

and then its winter, and there's a funeral. the husband's funeral.
stupid cancer.

i bawled. the whole. entire. movie. i took a few breaks to laugh at some funny stuff that was in there (its not all doom and gloom, it is a chick flick after all) but mostly i was a blubbering mess. like a whole-face-covered-in-snot-because-i-couldnt-find-the-tissue-box-through-my-tears kind of blubbering mess. the movie was just so sweet and so very sad all at the same time and it hit me right in my newlywed-terrified-of-ever-losing-her-husband gut.

you should watch this movie. just consider yourself forewarned of its sadness. and make sure you stock up on tissues first, especially if you
1) are married, 2) are engaged, 3) are blessed with an amazing man in your life, 4) have a loved one battling cancer,  5) have ever lost anyone to cancer, 6) have ever found yourself suddenly alone, or 7) know anyone irish.

to break it down: ladies, get your tissues. men, be prepared to spend the entire movie lovingly holding your lady as she sobs into your shoulder and stifling your incredulous giggles at how very emotional she is getting over a movieforgoodnesssake.

i laughed, i cried, i thought about life. this movie made me cling to my husband and realize just how lucky i am to have him in my life. in short, it moved me Bob.

i wonder whats next on the queue?

turning it "off"

the TV, that is. (and only kind of, so dont be too impressed or let my seemingly pure motivated over-achieving-ness overwhelm you or make you feel less awesome than you are.)

during my prowling stalking perusing of the interwebs early this week, i came across an article about ten ideas of things to do during TV-Turn-Off week, which is apparently this week. i did not read the article. but i did spontaneously decide that going a week without spending most evenings planted squarely on the couch staringly mostly blankly (but sometimes laughingly) at the tv would be a good thing for us. i also managed to find an Easter Week devotional that was put together by someone else's church that i thought we could do instead of our typical TV time in the evenings.

Things you should know about TV-Turn-Off Week:

1. its already half-over for this year. so too late for you. sorry about that.

2. the first TV-Turn-Off Week was in 1994. i was 7 years old. i had a bowl cut.

3. technically, at some point recently it turned into Screen-Free Week to include all electronics in the off-limits category.
   3a. we're not doing that. our computers are still completely on-limits.

4. we kind of made up our own rules for the week. they include a 1-hr allowance on Tuesday night (for the all-important consumption of new Glee!) and brief score checks when the Orioles are playing, which is surprisingly a lot.

5. turning off your TV will not magically free up your brain space. you will still forget to do a lot of things - like buying a dye kit for Easter eggs. and buying eggs. and actually making time for your evening devotions.

6. it will, however free up a lot of time for things you've been meaning to do for weeks - like hang stuff on the walls and organize your giant piles-o-stuff in the basement and go for a run and start reading a new book and get a hair cut.

7. all your extra free time might lead you to make some astounding discoveries. like a mostly forgotten bag of potatoes in your cupboard. that may or may not have been planning an uprising against the mind-numbed humans of the household. i think they were just a few days shy of forming their own coherent form of government and self-sustaining community.

this is why its probably a good idea i stopped that whole 'cooking blog' thing

TV-Turn-Off-sort-of-Screen-Free Week: stopping vegetable revolts for 17 years and counting!

an(other) open letter.

to the highways printer:

we are fighting.

this is not a good thing for either of us. i do not like conflict, in fact i often go very far out of my way to avoid even the slightest hint of a conflict, especially when we have to work with each other in such very close proximity. i mean come on, you're just on the other side of the wall from me. i can hear every noise you make. i would like nothing more than to just get along. but this time you have taken it too far.

you know how i was so sad the other day when i could not print to you because someone decided to change your plot configuration and not tell anyone? well i take it back. i take back the nice thoughts i had about you and all the pleasant times we once had, and the upset feeling i got when i realized i would have to walk all the way to the plot room to print my 20% off Bed Bath and Beyond coupon, and the wish that i wished that i would soon be able to utilize your services once again.

i dont know about you, but i can remember back to this morning. back to the good old days, when i printed this exact spreadsheet, and it came out just like it's supposed to. gosh, that was nice. i liked you then. why would you want to ruin our relationship this afternoon by messing up my spreadsheet? is it because i didnt save you any pizza from lunch today? did i inadvertantly insult your motherboard? are you just programmed to be mean and sadistic?

and while i'm the one asking the questions here, do you think i make my settings so that everything fits onto three sheets just to make myself feel better? do you think i double check it in print preview and see that it all fits onto said three sheets just for the satisfaction of knowing it is actually a possibility? do you think i really won't mind when you make my three sheets of information take up SIX SHEETS? whaddaya think i am, dumb or somethin'?* and just how angry do you have to be to do it THREE TIMES IN A ROW?

so, since i am a completely rational person who would never ever talk to an inanimate object let alone stoop as low as to grovel to said inanimate object to get what i want, i will give you one more chance. if you would like to get back into my good graces, i suggest you stop playing games with my head, and my spreadsheets.

don't make me get big on you. cuz i will totally go all OfficeSpace on you. don't tempt me. you wouldn't like me when i'm angry.

now lets try this one more time...

Love Always,
Mando

PS. thank you. i really didn't want to have to explain that one to the IT guy...

*name that movie!

sprung.

so, i started writing this post about a month ago, because i had a great picture of a lovely flower that had planted itself in my front flower bed. i was so excited about this lovely purple flower that i took a picture of it (okay maybe a few) every time i walked past it. because if i waited til later it would never look just like it did right then ever again!

but i didnt want to claim that spring had sprung just based on that one little flower, and i noticed a few others who were threatening to bloom, so i figured i'd wait until i had a few more flower pictures to declare the arrival of spring to my house.

but then, it snowed. and my lovely purple crocuses (i think thats what they were) were no more.

surprisingly enough, this unexpected little turn of events fit quite perfectly into the initial deep-and-meaningful thought that i was going for with my original post:

we never know whats coming. life is an unending cycle of unknowns and surprises.

i thought that those lovely purple flowers meant that spring was here. that temperatures would continue to just rise. that the sunshine was here to stay. surprise! i was wrong.

at one point in my life, i thought that i would never get a job after graduation. that i would never again have a place to call home. that i would be living out of my car forever. surprise! i was wrong.

i thought that i had a good handle on what marriage was going to look like. that everything would be stress-free after the wedding. that living with a boy would be a piece of cake. that i could continue to handle everything on my own. surprise! i was wrong.

i have no idea what the outside of my house is going to look like this spring. the state of my gardens and flower beds is a complete unknown to me. and yet, this is an unknown in my life that carries a bit more exciting and hardly any scary (i mean yeah, previous unknowns in my life were plenty exciting but they had a lot more scary-life-altering-implications to them than plants and flowers) i cant wait to see what pops up around the house this spring and summer, to tend to the plants that do appear, and make a plan for making it my own next year.

but for now, i'm pretty happy with the daffodils that have appeared by my mailbox.

Happy Spring!

an open letter.

to the black Chrysler on 83 this morning:

depsite all your best efforts, i did in fact make it safely into work this morning.

all i really wanted to do was to pass the big truck, and to pass him quickly because passing 18-wheelers makes me nervous. i drive a little car and i always worry that i will be in the wrong place at the wrong time and the truck will change lanes while i am right beside them in their giant blind spot and i will be forced to be smashed against the glare screen because my car is not little enough to fit right underneath the truck like in that one Griswold movie.

but then i got stuck behind you.

you, who would not speed up just a little so i could fully pass the big truck as we drove down the big hill and he got closer and closer to the car in front of him and i got more and more panicky as his need to switch lanes became more and more obvious and i was obviously driving right where he needed to be but you were completely oblivious to all of this being the reason that i was riding your tail, silently urging you to just Speed! Up! A! Little! Already! so we Dont! All! Die!

well, the truck managed to squeeze itself into the left lane right behind me, and i breathed a sigh of relief over the fact that were were not all dead. we all passed the slower cars, the truck moved back over into the right lane, and i naievely assumed that you would follow suit, since you were obviously in the way of my desire to go just a little faster.

but apparently in maryland (where you're from, and have been for a while based on your not new-like-mine license plate) the proper etiquette for dealing with other drivers who would like to go just a little faster is not to pull into the right lane and out of the other drivers way, but rather to SLOW DOWN until you're going 45 MPH IN THE LEFT LANE which does nothing productive, it just makes me go "seriously?" and pass you on the right. which i hate doing, and i hate the people who do it, but you made me into one of those people today. i hope you're happy.

i know i am. there were free donuts waiting for me when i got to work SAFELY and ON TIME and NOT DEAD, no thanks to you.

drive safely, black Chrysler.

love always,
Mando

today should not be friday.

it should totally be saturday. i should not have had to tear myself out of my warm, comfy bed this morning. i should not have had to deal with cold tile floors and damp jeans in the dryer. (although i am very thankful for my hubband who actually put them in the dryer last night after i had already crawled into bed and THEN remembered the mass of wet denim chillin in the washing machine) i should not have had to come to work today on this gray, rainy, bleh kind of day.

my brain is rebelling this morning. in the form of a monster headache. (still waiting for the ibuprofen to prove itself worthy by showing any sort of effectiveness at curbing said brain-throbbing) when the skull exploding pressure combines with the dull ache in my back and mixes with my overall exhaustion, i'm thinking that napping under my desk this afternoon is really the only viable option here. it could be the fault of the gray, rainy, bleh kind of feeling that is permeating the world today, but more than likely it is my own lazy fault.

for not eating real breakfast this morning. for not packing myself a morning snack. for overeating bad food yesterday (diner food and frozen treats because i didnt want to cook!). for not making any effort to make any sort of food other than pasta and frozen pizza all week. for not taking out my contacts every night like i'm supposed to. for giving into my deep down desire to just sit around on the couch all evening watching Mythbusters and eating ice cream.

i am so glad tomorrow is the weekend. for real. i think i need to just put this week of sloth and gluttony behind me and start over.

maybe next week will be better. maybe next week i will kind of resemble a more capable kind of human being. maybe i will finally make that new crock pot meal that i bought all the stuff for.

(or maybe what i'm saying here is hi! sorry for that misdirection last weekend! i am really just old and lame!)

totally not lame.

so yesterday afternoon i got a call from my sister. she said "come to my house! you have nothing better to do this weekend! you are young and spontaneous! come visit me while you still can before you have babies like me and get old and lame!"

and i said, "but i was going to make burgers for dinner tonight, and clean the basement, and unpack some more boxes"

and what i heard myself say was, "i am old and lame."

so i packed a bag, got in my car, and drove to NY. because i am SO not old and lame yet.

they are about this excited to see me.

(that is not true we are all very excited and having a great visit!)

not funny.

Dear God -
if this is your idea of some sort of cosmic April Fool's joke...

this girl is not amused.

Love always,

Mando