things i would like to do in 2012.

in no particular order.

make a reasonable meal plan. paint the front door. run a 5K. go to Europe. enjoy that trip thoroughly. bring home at least one good souvenir. feel good about myself in a bathing suit. sit-ups. clean the front porch. have pretty flower beds. shower with the door closed. read the Lord of the Rings trilogy. then watch the movies. paint and organize my kitchen. invite more people to our house. smile. make curtains for all my naked windows. clean regularly. use my crockpot. read through my bible. run. dismantle the mountain-o-junk in the basement. decorate for seasons other than Christmas. yard sale. read a book by Jane Austin Austen. hang things on the walls. build something. laugh. organize the office. carve a jack-o-lantern. buy pants that fit and make me feel fantastic. clean out my closet. put new music on my iPod. be a good friend. quilt our old t-shirts. close my other bank account. hit 'play all' on abs and buns of steel and not want to die. go to the dentist. give more homemade gifts. play outside. ride my bike. the big book of everything. go to a baseball game. swim. paint something little. have fun.

these are not resolutions, as they are not necessarily stamped with an expiration date of Dec. 31st and therefore cannot make me feel bad if i dont actually follow through with all of them in the next 365 days. rather, these are goals. things that i would like to accomplish. maybe this year, maybe not. some things involve major lifestyle changes and paradigm shifts. others are much simpler. there are things on the list that are one-shot kind of things, and once they are done that's all there is to it. but there are things in there that are longer-term kind of things, and they will hopefully stick around for a while. its not a comprehensive list, and it might grow as the year goes on. i might keep track of what i accomplish, or i might not. no biggie.

*****

the beginning of this year has been hard for me, and i'm not really sure why that is. i came home from my sister's house and i was just... sad. kind of deflated with a sprinkling of apathy to take away any and all flavor from my life. i've kept going, but it feels like i'm just barely scraping by. i don't want to get out of bed in the morning, i get mad at everything, i swear under my breath when i drop my keys under the front seat of my car. when i get home in the evenings, all i want to do is nothing.

the hubs has been super awesome about it. he's gone grocery shopping, done dishes, and laundry, and cleaned toilets, and made me laugh, and let me watch What Not To Wear and buy the green smart cover that i want for my iPad even though he thinks its overpriced. and while i really appreciate the help, i know that it's not fair for me to zone out and let him take over. i can imagine that it's stressful for him, and knowing that i'm stressing him out really doesn't help to put me in a better mood.

but i'm trying. and i'm starting with this list. the things on it are positive and attainable. it's not overwhelmingly long. i am not pressuring myself to do one specific thing every day for the next year, (i've tried that, and it just doesn't work for me) or setting myself an impossibly small goal weight, or even really resolving to do anything. i'm just identifying the things that i think i might like to do in the near future. and i'm putting it in writing so that i can come back to it for ideas when i have a free afternoon and can't think of anything to do. its a little bit of accountability, and i think it will be fun to go back to this post a year from now and see how i did. 

i'm starting this weekend. we invited a couple of friends over tonight for dinner and a movie. it has all the makings of a really great evening. and even if it turns out to be a total flop, at least it's a good start on my goals to "invite more people to our house," "be a good friend," and "have fun." see how this goes? no pressure. just fun.

what would you like to do in twenty-twelve? 

let's do the time warp again.

time warp - (n) a hypothetical eccentricity in the progress of time that would allow movement back and forth between eras or that would permit the passage of time to be suspended.

we spent last weekend in the most delightful time warp at my sister Stasi's house in WPA.

when we woke up on Saturday morning, it was Christmas all over again! there was a beautiful tree, an abundance of presents, and the best sisters, brothers-in-law, and niece and nephew who were all VERY excited to be all together in one place.

presents were opened in an unorganized flurry of wrapping paper and boxes and shouts of joy and excitement. the spoils included all sorts of happy things: tailgating stuff, bike stuff, sewing stuff, sleeping bags, a new camera, games,  toys, and enough chocolate to keep us all nice and hyper for at least a week.

and if that weren't awesome enough, we also got to celebrate New Years all on the same day! we spent the afternoon preparing for the big party full of family and friends and food and drink and games and even a fancy cake. because a party just isn't a fancy party without a cake. a fancy cake.

Claire designed it. Aunt Stasi baked it. Nick helped with the icing.

it was one of the fanciest cakes i've ever seen. just check out those delicate piping details and the way the flowers just pop right out at you. and it was delicious too. really, what more could you ask for in a cake?

it was a very great, very fancy party with fabulous people. we played fun games and ate good food and laughed til our stomachs hurt and almost lost track of time. but we managed to squeeze everyone into the same room just in time to watch the ball drop at midnight.

it was a fantastic way to end 2011. it was a fantastic way to kick off 2012. it was hard to come back home to my quiet house with its piles of laundry and dishes. it was sad to look at my Christmas decorations and know that i will have to take them down soon. i miss my sisters. i miss my BFITW.

let's do the time warp again. soon.

a quick look back.

i don't know that i've ever done one of these Year In Review type of posts before, so i'm not really sure how to start it. probably with some sentimental mumbo-jumbo about how the past year has flown by and how much i will miss it and how long it is going to take me to get used to writing 2012 at the end of the date. oh wait. that's pretty much exactly how i feel about the end of this year. it was a good year, full of new things and adventures, and i guess i could manage to scrape together one measly blog post to celebrate it before i throw myself into 2012 with wreckless abandon.

i apparently spent the entire month of January in the kitchen. wow that was a long time ago.

February brought us our first married valentines day, a new nose-piercing for Sophie, a ski trip with friends in New York, and some imaginary drama with an old friend that i apparently made up in my own little head.

in March i did some super-sale-shopping, and celebrated my 24th birthday with my BFITW, while the hubs did a little basement make-over.

April showers brought us some flowers, an impromptu visit to visit my sister in NYC, a fabulous easter dress, and the return of my seasonal allergies.

in May i discovered the joys of my mobile online photo albums, i found a polyester picnic blanket at Goodwill, we took a weekend trip to Virginia for an old-world wedding, and a memorial-day-weekend trip to visit my sister in WPA.

we stuck close to home in June. we ventured as far as the local carnival, but spent most of our time in the fireplace room working on that drywall project.

July was awesome. and busy. while Mark continued to slave away in the fireplace room whenever he wasn't busy playing softball, i worked on some other little projects and took a trip to the beach with some of the greatest girls in the world. we also made time to celebrate the 4th with family and friends, go to the movies, and spend a day helping out on a friend's horse farm. 

the highlight of our August was family vacation in Williamsburg, which included my first real (unofficial) 5K. we also started painting the fireplace room, and managed to survive both an earthquake and a hurricane.

in September we mostly kept working on the fireplace room. wow, that was a long project and a lot of work. i also did some good yard-sailing, and we took another trip to NYC to celebrate my niece's birthday with apple picking and an amazing cake.

October was an eventful month, as it not only marked the end of our first full year of marriage, but also the end of the fireplace room project! we also survived our first not-quite-a-pregnancy-scare, and celebrated Mark's 24th birthday. i made progress on refinishing the not-a-credenza, and transferred offices at my job. this month also holds claim to the saddest event of our year, which was when we found out about the death of Mark's college roommate's young wife Kortney and their unborn daughter Sophy.

we were very thankful in November. we spent our time doing some yardwork, spending time with friends, and painting all the things. we rounded out the month with a Thanksgiving trip to visit my parents and brother in Wyoming, and i sent my hubs out to hunt elk (and lose his phone) in the wilderness.

December was a happy mix of finished projects and Christmas. we finished painting all the things and hung curtain rods. we got our first real tree and named him Harold. we decorated at work and at home. we finished the dining room and the not-a-credenza. we celebrated Christmas for three days straight. we got Mark a new phone. and then we wrapped up the year with one more Christmas and New Years in WPA.

Dear 2011 - 

you were good to us this year. your days and weeks flew by so fast, and yet january still feels like it happened ages ago. you brought us tons of laughter, good times, and good friends, but you were not without the overwhelming sadness of friends lost way too soon. you were our first full calendar year of being married, and owning a house. you witnessed the start and finish of several large projects, as well as the slow demise of all our flower beds. you tried our patience, made us stronger, and blessed us immensely, and we praise God for His prescence and guidance throughout. we will miss you, and remember you fondly as we move on into a new year and all the adventures that it will bring us.

Love Always,
Mando

happy accidents are happy.

Part The First:
when we bought our house over a year and a half ago, the first room that i had a plan for was the dining room. it was the chair rail that did it for me - i knew that space had potential, and i could see it in spite of the horrid pink floral wallpaper that the room was sporting when we had our first walk-through.

this picture is from about a year ago, after we had taken down the wallpaper (revealing that the rest of the room had once been pepto bismol pink... yikes!) but before we had done anything else.

i had the colors picked out for this space before we even moved in - it was going to be celery green on top, chocolate brown on the bottom, with chunky vertical stripes under the chair rail done in a high-gloss paint in the same shade of brown to keep them nice and subtle. as i mentioned a couple weeks ago, we just recently finally got around to painting the front room, dining room, and hallway. it took a little bit longer to get the details of the stripes together, which is why i didnt share the dining room at that time.

but now, after a couple late evenings of work by the hubs, the dining room is all striped and done! but can you spot the whoops on this one? yeah. that whole 'different finishes of the exact same color' thing? not so much.

the high-gloss paint wound up being a slight shade lighter than the original color. and i think it's even more awesome this way than how i originally planned it. the stripes are just a teeny bit more pronounced, but still very much subtle. so now our dining room is finally back in working order, and looking even better than i could have imagined!

Part The Second:
not long after we got married, i yardsaled a table with four legs which would come to be known as the not-a-credenza. it had suffered from a number of bad paint jobs and at least a little bit of neglect, so although it had plenty of potential it was not looking so hot.

the inside was even worse. i mean, i'm sure at some point these geese were a good idea, but their scuzz was just not going to cut it anymore.

over the 4th of July i started the process of sanding, paint-stripper-ing, and sanding it again. this part took a couple months because i only worked on it a little bit at a time.

then on Halloween i primed it,

and then just before Christmas I PAINTED IT BLUE!

but seriously, we spent part of our Christmas Eve morning putting all the new hardware on this bad boy when i probably should have been doing things like cooking, cleaning, or showering. i do not regret my prioritization on this one.

i originally picked out a paint swatch from Home Depot, but when i decided to go ahead and buy the paint we were shopping at Lowes, so i had them color match it for me. like the stripes in the dining room, the color was a little lighter and more muted than i had originally hoped for. and its perfect.

but the accidentally-amazing shade of blue isnt even the best part... using some leftover paint from another project, i also gave the inside an awesome little bit of happy surprisedness for anyone who ever has to get something out of the not-a-credenza (which will probably most often be me, which is why i decided it was totally worth the extra time and effort to refinish the inside too).

sometimes i'm a little bit sad that i couldnt find hardware that was more similar to what was originally on the not-a-credenza, but then i look at it again and i can't help but squeal with happy and jump up and down a little bit. ok a lot.



this thing took me FOR-EV-ER to finish, (ok so Mark was actually the one to apply the last coat of clear coat because i had to do all the Christmas shopping but i did the bulk of the work so i'm totally claiming this project) and i think it looks awesome so i dont even care if you think my color selection is crazy or if you feel the need to point out all the stray brush-marks and drips because i know that its perfect and i can't wait until i can start storing things in it and decorating the top of it and i'm so glad that that the color turned out different than what i asked for.

come on over anytime. our house looks awesome and i would love to show it to you. but just please to be ignoring the several doors that we are missing on our basement stairs and various closets.

we're working on it. 

maybe i'll get the camera for my birthday.

so i guess right about now would be the logical time to post something about our Christmas. except that it doesn't quite feel like Christmas is over yet at our house. our tree and all our decorations are still up, the Christmas music is still on the radio, and there is still a fairly substantial stack of presents for Harold to look after. don't get me wrong - we've done a lot of Christmassing over here, but we're really only about 66% of the way done with Christmas.

and i love Christmas, so that is quite alright with me. but if it's quite alright with you, i'll go ahead and share a little bit of our Christmas so far.

we started celebrating on Christmas Eve, when we invited Mark's family over to our house after church to eat some food and to just hang out for a little bit. we need to start inviting people over more often, because it was really a good time. although i didnt actually take any pictures of them being here, so you'll just have to take my word for it.

after they left, Mark and I opened our first present of the year, which was (of course) our ornaments!  i had almost forgot that we bought these guys on vacation in Williamsburg over the summer. i'm glad i found them before i stressed myself out about trying to find ornaments the week before Christmas!

on Christmas morning, Mark and I opened our stockings, ate breakfast, and exchanged presents. and just like last year, i didn't take any pictures of us, or of our presents. i guess i was too busy playing with my new iPad to bother with my camera.

but since i didn't want this Christmas to go by completely undocumented, i made sure i took some pictures of people and presents later in the day at his parents house. i think i got at least one picture of everyone who was there. (except for me and Mark) they are all rather unflattering, but hey, they're better than nothing, right?

and since i do like my in-laws and i feel a little bit bad about posting these pictures of them on the internet, i will also share the one picture that i have on my camera of me and the hubs, taken the day after Christmas at his aunt's house.

i didn't even try to get a better picture of the two of us. i also didn't get any pictures of his grandparents, or his aunt's family. and yes, there are MUCH better pictures of everyone who was at each of these parties, but they are not on my camera.

maybe my new years resolution should be to improve my photo documentation skillz before next Christmas. and i can get a head start with the two more Christmas celebrations we still have to go this year!

home for the holidays.

i know i've already shown you all of my Christmas decorations here and here, but i was struck the other day by this particular view of them from the front door - looking through the front room into the fireplace room.

its pretty much everything Christmassey about my house all wrapped up in one frame... almost like a scene out of a Norman Rockwell painting. if you move in a little bit closer, you can see some of the details more clearly: Harold; decked out with colored (non-blinking) lights and an assortment of ornaments ranging from angels, cows, and penguins to wolverine and a half-eaten icecream cone. he stands guard over a giant pile of presents, most of them to be given away in the next few days. there's a rocking chair that used to belong to Mark's grandmother sitting in front of our fireplace, which is home to our handmade stockings with our names lovingly stitched onto them. and what's that up on the mantle?

oh, its just our super-awesome nativity scene. seriously, i'm in love. it was an early Christmas present from my mom and dad and i could hardly wait until December to display it. it can be rearranged in any number of ways, and on the back of each piece is a section of scripture that relates the part of the Christmas story that each character played. it reminds me of the type of nativity that Mrs. Repp would love to have as part of her collection, and i think its perfect for our little family.

its a little bit funny to me that this is my house. it just looks so very house-like. no not even that... it looks like home. it was only a year and a half ago that we bought this house and i wondered if and when it would ever feel like home, and now here we are... celebrating our second Christmas together in a home already filling with memories and traditions.

and i love it.

why i celebrate Christmas.

it's no real secret that i love Christmas. everything about it, really.

i love the lights and the way they make everything sparkle. i love knowing the reaction that racing lights evoke from my mother, which kind of makes me love them just a little bit more.
i love Christmas trees. i love the way they smell, how they transform a room, and the memories that are tied up in all the decorations that go on them.
i love the music. i love the silly songs as much as i love the classic carols. i listen to it non-stop from Thanksgiving until they stop playing it on the radio, and sometimes even a little bit longer. its really only acceptable to listen to it this one time of year, so i make sure i make the most of it.
i love the treats: the cookies, the chocolate, the cinnamon rolls, the cookies, the hot chocolate, the cookies, the popcorn, the cookies...
i love the traditions. an orange and a toothbrush in your stocking. a penguin on the christmas tree. a certain movie and opening one present on Christmas Eve. candlelight church services. a santa tray to leave out cookies and milk. and i love that sometimes the specifics of these traditions can change over time, but they are always always what makes each year memorable.
i love the presents: i love getting presents from people who love me, and i love searching for the perfect presents to give to the people i love. and i love the anticipation that comes along with it - wondering both how well you'll make out this year, and looking forward to seeing whether or not you actually found the perfect presents for everyone else.
i love the magic that surrounds the whole month of December. it is a mix of Santa and goodwill and cheer and joy and love and excitement and vacation and snow and i love that even as i get older the magic is still there.

those are some of the reasons that i love Christmas, and some of the ways i celebrate, but they are not the reason why i celebrate.

Christmas is so much bigger than trees and presents and tradition and sparkle. it is essentially a birthday party for the greatest human being who ever set foot on earth. it is the celebration of a baby whose primary purpose in this world was to point to the one and only God who is the main character in all of history. he came to be a perfect sacrifice for a world full of people that in and of themselves are full of sin and incapable of the perfection that God requires. he came to die in our place, to cover all our sins with his perfection so that we might one day be restored in heaven with God. and he came to then rise from the dead - to conquer death, sin, and satan to prove once and for all that God is more powerful than satan, and that the outcome of the battle is already written. and all of that power was wrapped up as a tiny baby.

this year, i'm really being remided that Jesus' birth - revealing the glory of God in a form that we can comprehend, living to die as a sacrifice for the sin that we ourselves could never overcome, and fulfilling the work of the Father to defeat death and crush satan - is the "reason for the season," and it all kind of changes how i look at it. Jesus' birth, life, death, and resurrection gives me a hope and a freedom that nothing else can.

and so i celebrate. i celebrate with friends and family, with joy and laughter, with lights and decorations, with presents and treats, in the happiest way i know how. because i love that baby and all he stands for. he is why i celebrate Christmas.

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